


A candle in the storm

by Marium



Series: A candle in the storm [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambiguous minor character death, Benny-centric, Blood Drinking, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, DBBB 2016, Dark Benny, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, dubious consent blood drinking, not by choice though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 16:52:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marium/pseuds/Marium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Making sure his head stays attached to his neck isn't the only thing Benny needs to worry about in Purgatory. There is something that doesn't aim to kill him, but that doesn't mean it's not just as bad.<br/>After a meeting with Eve, Benny is back on Earth, with his human conscience fighting a fierce battle against his re-awoken vampire nature. He is becoming the monster that he used to be, who didn't care for human life and just took what he wanted. And what he wants happens to be the one person he wants to keep safe the most: Dean Winchester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is my entry for the Deanbenny big bang 2016. Androbeaurepaire and Rednikjow were, respectively, the artist and the beta, and I'm immensely thankful to them because they made this story much better than it was.  
> The story is canon divergent at some point of Season 8, Benny died but the angels didn't fall, so there is relative peace by the time this starts.  
> I've never put so much work and thought into any other fic, and I'm very prouf of the final product. I hope that you all like it too!

Benny groaned in pain. Everything on his slowly healing body hurt, but he guessed he could consider himself lucky: He was alive, which was more than could be said for the three shapeshifters that had attacked him, but only by a little margin. Had he been a little less lucky, he would be, quite literally, deader than dead.

He was lying on the ground with a very nasty and deep gash across his stomach and another one on his chest, the latter having been aimed at his neck. With an enormous effort he managed to drag himself towards a nearby tree, cursing at the pain every movement caused him, until he could support his back against the trunk. Sitting was a better position to inspect his surroundings. He snorted humorlessly at himself: Even if he detected any threat, what could he do to about it? Beg for his life?

He looked around. Aside from the bodies of the group that had attacked him and their weapons there was nothing to be seen. He closed his eyes and focused listening, trying to detect any sound, but an absolute silence had taken hold of the place. His nose didn't alert him of anything either. Good, that was good.

With another effort, he reached for the nearest body and pulled it towards him. He took the arm to his mouth and, letting his fangs drop, proceeded to take the disgusting blood in it. It was infinitely worse than human blood, but it wasn't dead yet and it would speed up his healing at least a little bit, and Purgatory was not a place in which he could afford to be picky. He felt the edges of his wounds begin to close a little faster.

After he had finished feeding he dropped the limp arm from his grasp. He allowed himself to relax, to rest just for a moment, and he suddenly became aware he was covered in sweat. He closed his eyes, taking air in and out deeply, slowly, weakly, feeling it fill his lungs over and over again. It was a particular habit he had never completely lost, and ironic as it was, feeding had always, for some reason, made him go back to his human habits.

He wouldn't be recovered enough to attempt to move for a while yet, so until then he only had his own grim mind to entertain himself with. He sighed and opened his eyes. It was silent, so very, very silent, the only noise the one of his own breathing, and the only company he had the three bodies. He looked at the one he had dragged, saw the empty, dead look on his eyes that felt like they were fixed on him.

Benny huffed. “Don't look at me like that, man. You're the ones that came at me, not the other way around. You only have yourself to blame. Look on the bright side: You don't have to worry about being killed anymore.”

Obviously, the shapeshifter didn't answer. Benny would have been very screwed if he was able to. He looked away and lost himself in his own thoughts. It was something that he tried not to think about, what happened after dying in Purgatory. He had already died, twice in fact, three times if he counted the moment he stopped being human, and yet there he was, breathing, thinking, able to die.

What would have happened if he hadn't managed to avoid the attack to his neck before? He was already dead, so where would he go? Would he be reborn? Would he just wake up in another zone of the forest? Or would he simply stop existing? That last one was not a pleasant prospect, to be sure. It was the only thing that made him keep going at this point.

“Well, at least now you know what happens, wherever you are. Or nowhere, possibly.”

There was no answer this time either. Benny rolled his eyes at himself. Talking to a corpse, great, he was going crazy sooner than expected. Loneliness was really a rough thing. But as much as he missed having company, he didn't plan on getting another partner, mostly because it was a specific company that he missed. Company that came along with reliability and friendship, affection and care. Someone who had never hesitated to trust him with his life and safety. A man whose bright, beautiful, green eyes had been clouded with unshed tears the last time he saw him.

Benny shook his head and grunted at himself. It was better not to go that way. Nothing good would come of it.

He forced himself to stand despite his wounds not being healed enough yet. If he stayed still for any longer his mind would start wandering too much. He groaned at the pain of the wounds being pulled, but that was good: That way he couldn't focus on something else.

He looked around for his weapon. He had lost his grip on it during the fight and had had to use his fangs to finish it. They did the job, but the blade was more practical. He saw it next to the furthest body and, after getting closer, saw that it was broken in two. He tsked, that had been a good weapon. He shrugged, bent to pick up the shapeshifter's weapon, which was in an acceptable enough state, for the moment at least, and started walking away.

Half an hour later he stopped and looked around, frowning. Something was off. Everything was just too quiet, and there was never quiet in Purgatory. There was always some sort of sound in the distance, someone running, someone screaming, someone dying. But not now, the only sound he could hear was the one of his walking. In all his years in the forest he had never experienced that and he bet his life that it meant really bad news for him.

He resumed his walking, even more alert than usual. There was definitely something strange going on. He had a weird feeling, one that made the hairs on the back of his neck bristle, but it wasn't completely unpleasant, either. He couldn't even begin to describe it. The more he walked, the stronger the feeling got. His will to survive was far stronger than his curiosity; he turned around and went back the way he had come. But it was useless: The feeling kept getting stronger. Whatever caused it was moving, and it was going towards him faster than he was getting away.

Suddenly, he heard steps only two meters behind him. With a yelp, he turned around, his hand automatically tightening his grip on his weapon, but what he saw pushed any idea of attacking out of his mind.

There was a woman there, a very beautiful woman, with brown hair and blue eyes, smiling softly and affectionately at him. She looked so very peaceful, so harmless, so out of place there in Purgatory.

“Benjamin” she called him in a calm voice, her smile growing and little wrinkles appearing around her eyes.

“...Momma?” Benny asked with a barely audible whisper.

For a moment, just for the briefest of moments, he believed what he was seeing, that his mother was there with him, and a warm feeling flooded his chest, a feeling he hadn't experienced in what felt like forever. But then, he remembered that he was a dead vampire and that he was in Purgatory. It was impossible that whatever he was seeing was his mother, because she wasn't in the forest with him, she couldn't be. She was in Heaven.

If that wasn't enough to convince him, then a more thorough examination of the being was. After the initial shock, Benny's mind started working again at full speed. He looked up and down, and found what was wrong in the woman's appearance: Nothing at all, and that was as wrong as it could get.

Benny's memory was good, but by no means flawless. After fifty years of no seeing Andrea, meeting her had made him realize that her memory hadn't endured to that moment in a perfect state: The little details on her face, the exact sound of her accent, her scent, they weren't the same as he remembered them. And it had been more than a century since the last time he saw his mother. And he knew that there was no way he remembered her just the way she was.

A quick thought crossed his mind: How long would it take for his memory to start changing what Dean was like?

Rage overflowed him. He tightened his grip on his weapon, which had gone loose from the impression, and he raised it, ready to attack any moment.

“How dare you?” he demanded through gritted teeth, looking at the being with all the rage he was capable of. “Do you think that will make me an easier prey? Well, you're sorely mistaken. I can kill you just as easy. So better go away before I do it.”

He didn't know why he was warning her, why he didn't just attack her and tear her throat out for daring to tarnish his mom's image. He wanted to, but he just didn't feel like he was able to.

The woman's brow wrinkled slightly in a scowl and her lips pursed. Just like his mom used to do, his mind supplied. “Is that how you speak to your mother? Show me some respect, boy.”

“You are _not_ my mom,” he spat out, now shaking with fury.

She crossed her arms and tilted her head very slightly to the right as her frown deepened. “Of course I am. Don't talk nonsense, Benjamin. I may not be the woman who gave birth to you, but I am your mother as much as she is. Or do you not know who I am?”

“Of course I know,” he replied with a bitter laugh. And he did, he had realized just a moment before. It explained why no one had attacked him, the strange feeling, why he hadn't attacked, and why trying to stand up to her seemed harder and harder with every word he said. “You are the one to blame for my life going to shit. If it wasn't for you I would still be human. You're Eve,” he said, spitting the last word out like it was an insult. To him, it was.

Eve didn't seem the least bit concerned about the hate in Benny's voice, and instead smiled calmly.

“Then you know there's no point in trying to deny your bond with me, regardless of if you like it or not,” she said as she gave a step forward towards him.

In response, Benny stepped back, trying to keep the distance between them. “Stay away! I don't know what you want with me, but you're not getting it,” he growled, trying his best to sound menacing.

Eve's smile widened at his words. “My sweet Benjamin, you know you don't have a choice in that. Your will is mine to do as I wish with it.”

“Yeah? Well, I'm afraid that's not how I see it,” he replied, trying to keep his voice strong and resolute. “You may have control over my nature, but this,” he said as he pointed to his head, “is not something you can control, not anymore.”

She kept getting closer, and suddenly Benny wasn't able to keep walking back. His legs just didn't do what his brain ordered; or a part of his brain didn't want to get away, he realized with horror. She was now only a few inches away from him. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and if he had had a heartbeat, it would be erratic.

She stood there, looking at him with something that could have passed for pure affection if it wasn't for that little hint of calculation, of cunningness.

“Oh, Benny,” she sighed, as if this was a conversation they had had a thousand times. “Why do you have to make this so complicated? Why do you fight me? Wasn't everything easier before all these delusions of humanity, when you did what you were supposed to do?”

“Because it was wrong,” Benny whispered, the rising fear in him and whatever effect Eve had over him stopping him from speaking any louder. “Humans are not something to be hunted,” he said, and was going to continue when he realized he didn't know what else to say: With each passing second he felt more and more dizzy and thinking clearly was becoming more difficult.

Eve reached out her hand, caressed his cheek, and to his own horror, he felt himself melt into the caress. The point where his skin touched hers was pleasantly warm, warmer than he had felt for a very long time, and that warmth and calmness spread to the rest of his body; it was like there was nothing to worry about, at all. He closed his eyes and sighed content.

“Why is that?” she asked in the sweetest, most loving voice.

Benny scowled, thinking hard. Yeah, why was that? What was the point in no hurting humans? He was sure there had been a reason in his mind only a few minutes ago, but now he was completely unable to remember what it was.

“I don't know,” he mustered, still not completely sure about it. “There is a reason, I'm sure of it.”

“No, darling, there isn't,” Eve assured him sweetly. “Humans are for us to do as we wish. If you want to feed from them, you can do so. If you desire one of them as your own, then just take him. Wouldn't everything have been much better if you had done that?”

Benny nodded, lost in the calmness she brought him. She was right, of course: It would have been better, if he had just followed his nature, it would have spared him so much pain and suffering. He thought about Andrea, about the first time he began seeing something in humans, something that shouldn't be taken. He had been convinced back then, but he had been wrong, and even Andrea herself had eventually realized it, even if he hadn't. He had lost his chance with her, but he had had a chance with Dean too, a chance to do it right.

_Dean. The thought of Dean stirred something in his mind, just a little bit._

He should have just taken him - taken him away from that selfish brother of his. The hunter would have fought him at first, of course, but eventually he would have understood that Benny knew what was best for him better than he did himself.

Benny frowned, trying hard to think about that thought that had appeared. It was difficult to think about it, so difficult, and so painful, too. But he couldn't stop, even if his nature yelled at him not to. He thought about Dean, about the trust he had put in him, the man who had thought him worthy of a second chance. The man who had believed he didn't have to be a killer.

Suddenly, Benny was aware of himself again. He hadn't even realized when he had gone into the trance. He heard Eve talking, whispering words that sounded in his mind like they were his own thoughts. He opened his eyes and roared, full of rage at what she was doing to him. He hit her hand away from his face, which made him so much more clear-headed, and pushed her away with all the strength he was capable of.

“Get away from me, you bitch,” he growled, his fangs instinctively dropping to make himself as menacing as possible.

The calm expression disappeared from her face, a shocked, almost horrified one taking its place briefly, but she recovered so quickly that Benny wasn't sure that he had actually seen it. She walked to him again as if nothing had happened, and when Benny lifted his weapon to attack her, she raised her hand and his arm went back down, despite his best effort to fight it.

“Benjamin, Benjamin,” she said with a deep sigh, like a long-suffering mother. “Why do you fight me? What is the point?”

“You couldn't understand, you've never been human. And honestly, I don't give a shit if you do or not, I just want you to let me go.”

“I'm afraid I can't do that,” she said shaking her head slowly, “not until you are what you are supposed to be.”

“And what am I supposed to be? A killer, a monster who doesn't give a shit about anything but himself?” he asked with disdain. “Because that is who I used to be, and I'd rather die than go back to that.”

“And what has that done for you? Look at yourself: You act like you are strong and confident, but I know how much you hurt deep down. And why wouldn't you? You were left alone by the man that meant everything to you, who knew he was all you had. You were hunted even when you were doing your best, because people refused to see how much you were trying. You lost everything, you _gave_ everything, and what did you get back? Nothing.”

“That's not the point” he replied dryly. “I didn't do it to get anything; I did it because it was the right thing to do. And, even if it got me killed and alone, you know what? I would gladly do it again. Dean is safe up there now, he has his brother, and I'm down here where I can't hurt anyone.”

He expected her to continue trying to convince him, but instead she tilted her head, looking at him with something he wasn't completely sure he recognized. Interest? Curiosity?

“You are remarkable, Benjamin. By now, there should be nothing of your human conscience left, just being near me should have made you pure again, free of those useless morals. But here you are, clinging to them.”

“Looks like you're getting it,” he commented, flashing a mocking grin at her. “There's nothing you can do to me. And why do you care now, anyway? I'm down here, not up there. Even if I went back to that, it wouldn't make a difference.”

Eve's calm, cunning smile came back to her face. “That's where you're wrong, my child.” She leaned towards him and whispered in his ear: “What if I told you, you can have everything? That I can make you live again, have Dean's love for yourself?”

It took the vampire a few moments to answer. He wanted to push her away, but his arms refused to work, and a guilty spark of interest had appeared in his mind.

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said. I'm going to make sure you get your happy ending, Benjamin. You deserve it.” She raised her hands and cupped his head between them. Instantly, Benny felt the numbness, the tiredness start to invade him again. “You only need to let me help you.”

“No,” he protested weakly. “I don't know what you want, but I don't want to be a part of it! I don't want anything from you!”

“It's not an offer, my child, you can't refuse. I'm just telling you what is going to happen.”

Using all of his willpower, he raised one arm, but he lost his strength midway through and when he hit her it was a mere, weak touch.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked desperately, as he felt her entering his mind, making it impossible for him to think straight. “I've been here for years, and you didn't give a damn about me. You're not doing this because you care for me, you want something!”

“Benny, of course I want something,” she replied, caressing his cheeks with her thumbs tenderly. He felt his knees go weak; he would have fallen if she wasn't touching him. “But it is not something you need to worry about, not yet at least.” Benny's eyelids suddenly became immensely heavy. “Now sleep, Benjamin. Everything will be better once you wake up.”

He struggled for a few moments, panic and fear and desperation filling him completely. He knew that if he closed his eyes, he wouldn't be himself anymore when he woke up. But his will was a small candle, and her power was a terrifying storm in the ocean: No matter how hard he tried, he would be extinguished.

She let go of him and watched the vampire fall to the ground with a self-satisfied smirk. The last thought that crossed his mind before he passed out was a prayer: That he never had the chance to hurt Dean, even if that meant never seeing him again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: In the beginning of this chapter there's a lot that's narrated from Sam's POV, for narrative purposes. It's only for a few scenes and then it's purely Dean and Benny.  
> Also, there's a explicit scene in this chapter that honestly got far, far too long. Sorry for that, Dean and Benny made me do it.

The last thing Sam and Dean expected when they were in the bunker was to hear a knock on the front door when they were expecting no one. Cas never bothered walking in the way mortals did, he just appeared, and the remaining few people who knew about the bunker's existence, like Charlie, never showed up unexpectedly.

That was the reason why it took them a few seconds to react when it happened. They looked at each other, startled, and when there was another knock, Sam stood up, silently signaling Dean to be ready, just in case. Dean nodded as he grabbed a gun, and Sam went up the stairs.

The last thing Sam expected when he warily opened the door was to see one of his many deceased acquaintances; for example, Benny Lafitte, which was the case.

Sam's mouth opened slightly as he took in the sight before him. He blinked, unbelieving, then blinked a second time. What he was seeing couldn't possibly be real, right? Benny was dead; he had seen the vampire in Purgatory himself. But after blinking the man was still there, clear and very much real.

After some moments, he made a hesitant motion to move aside, but stopped himself before even moving one foot. He was at a complete loss about what to do, but he had to do something, anything. Should he let him in, tell Dean what had just happened, ask Benny how was he alive, or assume he was a fake?

Benny's eyebrows were raised and he had a wry smile on his lips, apparently amused by Sam's confusion.

“Hey, Sam. You gonna let me in or have I come all the long way here for nothing?” he drawled tilting his head slightly, raising his eyebrows more.

Downstairs, Dean had been getting anxious due to his brother's reaction, and was about to head up to see who it was for himself, but he went completely still and his heart skipped a beat in response to that low voice. His eyes widened. He couldn't have heard right, could he? It was impossible that he was here.

“Who is it, Sam?” he asked, managing to make his voice calm. “Any trouble?”

As soon as he heard Dean's voice, Benny's face went softer, the wryness being replaced by fondness, eagerness, and a little bit of anxiousness. He stepped forward and put a hand on Sam's shoulder to push him slightly to the side and come in. Sam moved aside, more out of instinct than anything else, still too shocked to properly react.

“No, Dean, no trouble. I think.”

Dean didn't reply to his brother, had barely heard his words. When he saw Benny coming through the door, his eyes opened wide again and his heart skipped another beat: He had been right, it was Benny's voice. He watched with his mouth open as a widely grinning Benny came down the stairs and straight to him.

“Dean,” he said with a soft voice and his smile growing even wider. “It's great to see you, brother.”

Dean's first instinct was to step forward and cling to Benny, who was opening his arms for a hug, to make sure that what he was seeing and hearing was real, something he could touch and wouldn't disappear, that it wasn't just another dream. He desperately wanted to, but what he did instead was to take a wary step back, even though it almost physically hurt him.

Benny stopped and his arms dropped, his smile faltering.

“Sam,” Dean called with his eyes fixed on Benny's face, studying him carefully. “Go for holy water and silver.”

“Right,” Sam said after a moment of hesitation, nodding. He left the room, leaving Dean alone with Benny.

Dean kept staring at Benny, whose grin was dying and leaving him with a look of awkwardness. The other man looked down and scratched the back of his neck nervously, changed his weight from one foot to the other, shooting quick glances at Dean every now and then, looking away after a second.

Dean's mouth was dry. He hated the wait, he hated doing this to Benny of all people. He hated not being embracing him right now. All he wanted was for Sam to come and get the suspicion off of his mind so he could feel happy and grateful that the man who had always supported, trusted and helped him without any hesitation was back. He had to close his hands into fists and put his attention there to stop himself from walking to the other.

“I'm sorry, Benny,” Dean said after a moment, looking down briefly. “I really am. I'm happy as hell to see you again, but I have to make sure. It wouldn't be the first time we're tricked like this. But I promise that as soon as we clear this I'm going to welcome you back the way you deserve.”

“Of course. You have to make sure, it's logical. Guess it's not every day a dead friend shows up at your door.”

“But if this is a trap,” the hunter continued, his voice going rough and low, “ if you're trying to get to me by pretending to be someone I know, then I swear to anything that's listening that you're going to regret choosing his face. If you've given me hope and it's all a lie, Hell will be a children's game compared to what I'll do to you.”

Despite the threat, all Dean's words did was putting a warm smile on Benny's lips. “Glad to see you still appreciate me so much, Dean.”

Then Sam came in with a small jar and a silver knife. He looked at Dean, looking for confirmation, and threw the liquid at the vampire's face. Benny didn't seem to appreciate having the water thrown at him, squeezing his eyes shut, but other than that he was unharmed. He passed his hand across his face to get some of the water off, and then stepped forward to grab the knife from Sam's hand. He held it for a second without any trouble and grinned widely at Dean before dropping it.

“See? Nothing to worry about. It's really me.”

Dean looked at him, unmoving for a moment. He swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. He opened his mouth, but he wasn't able to find the appropriate words, so he shut it without saying anything. He slowly put the gun in the table.

Then he stepped forward and silently pulled Benny into hug, to which the other eagerly hugged back. Dean embraced him as tightly as he could, to the point his muscles started to ache a little, but he didn't let go, closing his hands into fists around the back of Benny's coat. The hunter let out a sigh of relief at how solid, how _real_ , Benny's body felt against his, and he felt the burning of incipient tears in the corners of his eyes.

After a long while, which nevertheless felt too short, they separated, their hands lingering on each other's shoulders for longer than necessary before dropping. They were both smiling: Dean brightly, if on the verge of tears, while Benny wasn't much more composed.

It took Dean a few seconds to speak; he didn't know what to say, he was unable to find the words.

“You don't know how happy I am to see you, man” he finally said with his voice affected but strong, hoping that Benny understood all what he didn't know how to put into words.

“I can say the same, brother. I've missed you an awful lot.”

In that moment, Sam coughed awkwardly. The other two remembered they weren't alone and looked at him sideways, Dean trying to recompose himself, while Benny seemed slightly bothered to have his moment with Dean interrupted.

“Don't get me wrong, Benny, it's good to see you here” the younger Winchester started, a bit uncomfortable, “but how is it that you are alive and here? I mean, you were in Purgatory, and it's not an easy thing to get out of there.”

Benny flashed a grin at him. “It isn't, but sometimes there's a stroke of luck. I've always been a resourceful man.”

The vampire walked over to the table and sat in one of the chairs. The Winchesters imitated him, Dean still staring at him in awe, as if he feared that if he looked away for too long he would wake up from a dream. Benny took a look at the books on the table, turning a few pages in interest.

“Huh, those are brilliant. Were you investigating for a case?”

“Possible case,” Dean answered. “But never mind that, it's not important. Benny, how did you come back? What happened after you helped Sam?”

“After I helped Sam?” Benny repeated with an ironic grin. “After that, I had to shake off quite a few of my old mates. You see, they were rather set on killing me again. They came at me for days, almost got me a couple times, but as you can see I dealt with them just fine,” he commented motioning to himself.

“It was a reaper that got me out; after you told me about all that mess with Sam and Hell and the rogue reapers, I knew that they were there, and that they could take me back. I didn't care about it at first, though. I just wandered around like I had done before. I didn't want to leave.”

“Why?” Dean inquired, his voice hurt. “Why did you stay there? You knew I was waiting for you. Benny, I was devastated when Sam came back and you weren't with him.”

“You and I both know the answer to that question, brother,” Benny replied quietly, flashing a sad, tired smile at him.

Dean's face turned into a grimace of pain and guilt and he looked down, ashamed.

“I changed my mind after some time, though,” Benny continued, his voice going softer. “And it was because I missed you, Dean. I had thought that I'd gotten used to it, to being alone again. But down there is not the same as up here, you know? I felt your absence more than ever, and I started realizing that the reasons I had to not come back were stupid. It was a terrible decision I made at my lowest point. So I started looking for reapers. I met a few, but they refused to take me back to my body. Until I met one who had been hurt by some monsters. I helped her get to where she needed to go to leave Purgatory and she dropped me back into my body as a thank you,” he finished with a grin.

Sam and Dean listened attentively to Benny's words, taking the information in.

“Wait a minute,” Sam said with a frown when Benny finished. “I think I read something about that in one of the Men of Letters' books. Reapers can go out of Purgatory any time they want, they only need a specific point if they're carrying someone. And I think they can only be hurt by very high beings, regular monsters couldn't touch them.”

“Well, clearly it's not the case,” Benny replied, looking somewhat perplexed. “Me being here's proof enough of that, I think.”

“It's strange, though,” the younger Winchester mused, not completely convinced.

“I can try to contact her again so she can tell you herself, if that'll help you feel easier,” the vampire offered with his eyebrow raised, in an attitude that was a mix of defensive and sarcastic.

“That's not necessary, we believe you. Right, Sam?” Dean cut in then as he looked irritated at his brother, interrupting whatever he was going to say. Without waiting for an answer, he turned back to his friend.

“So a reaper then? Makes sense. It would've been helpful to have known about them before, wouldn't it? Anyway, so you got out, how did you find us? This place isn't precisely public information.”

“That'd be hot wings' doing. I had no idea where to start looking for you, so I prayed. Yeah, a vamp praying to an angel. Ironic, isn't it?” he commented with a chuckle. “It took a few tries, but he showed up. He asked a bit about the same you have and then zapped me here. He barely let me thank him before he disappeared again. And that's it; here I am,” he finished, gesturing briefly to himself with a satisfied smirk.

Dean grinned brightly and patted the other's shoulder. “Yes, here you are” he repeated, his voice giving away just how thrilled he was to say those words, relishing in what he said. He shot his brother a brief, warning look, as if daring him to say anything.

“So what are you going to do now, Benny?”

“I'm not sure” the vampire answered, crossing his arms thoughtfully. “The first thing I wanted to do was seeing you again, I haven't thought much beyond that. I'll hang around as long as you'll let me, then I suppose I'll get on my lonely way again,” he shrugged with a little sad smile on his lips.

“Like hell you are,” Dean scoffed with a frown. “I told you that I intended to fix everything, and I meant it. I'm not letting you be on your own this time. You deserve better than that. The bunker is big, we have more than enough room for one more.”

“Dean, it's good, I'll be fine,” Benny assured softly. “Truth is, I could definitely use meeting with you from time to time, if you're willing. But you needn't worry about me; I can handle spending time on my own, I won't snap.”

“That's not it, Benny, I know you won't snap. I want you to be here, alright? I owe you more than leaving you alone again, and don't you dare say I owe you nothing, you hear me? You're staying.

Unless, that is, you don't want to,” he added as an afterthought, his face falling a bit as the thought crossed his mind.

“Chief, of course I'd love to stay here,” Benny replied rolling his eyes. “But the thing is, you're not the only one who has to make that decision. It's Sam's choice too, and I'm not sure he's as happy with the idea as you are,” he said as he looked sideways at him.

“I've got no problem with it,” Sam rushed to say. “It'll be good to have you here, Benny. Really.”

The other two visibly relaxed and grinned at each other. In that moment, seeing how honestly happy the two were, Sam realized once again just how deep their friendship was, how much they mattered to each other, how much Dean was smiling just from having Benny there again. And he felt a pang of guilt.

“I'm staying, then?” Benny asked slowly, his voice shaking a little. He blinked to try to stop it, but Dean noticed how his eyes began to shine with the beginning of tears. The vampire closed his eyes and shook his head a little, taking a deep breath, telling himself to stay composed. “Really? With you?”

“With me,” Dean confirmed as his grin widened even more. He allowed himself one more moment of looking at Benny and then turned towards his brother.

“Sam, could you go see by yourself if this is a case?” he asked pointing towards the screen of Sam's laptop, which was next to the open books. “It's not far, so it shouldn't take you more than an hour at most to get there. I'll be helping Benny settle in and show him around.”

“Sure,” Sam answered nodding. “I just need to do a little more of research and I'll go.”

“Only see if it's a case, Sam,” Dean warned. “If it's nothing, come back. And if it is something, come back anyway and I'll go with you. Understood?”

“Yes, Dean, I know,” he said rolling his eyes. “Don't worry about me.”

Dean nodded, satisfied, and stood up. “I'll go see what room we can give you, it shouldn't take me more than ten minutes.” He stopped for a second, and then continued. “Benny, I, huh, I got your truck after everything that happened. It is in the garage, that way,” he said a little self-consciously, pointing to a door. “Everything's like I found it. You can go and see it for yourself.”

“You did that, Dean?” Benny inquired after a moment, his voice teasing, although the deep, affected gratitude it attempted to hide could be easily noticed underneath. “Even after I was gone?”

“Huh, yeah, I did,” Dean said, blushing a bit and nodded. “It seemed like the right thing to do, you know?”

“Thank you, brother.”

Dean squeezed Benny's shoulder and smiled widely at him one last time before heading out of the room. The vampire's eyes followed him and stayed fixed on the door through which he had left, with a daydreaming smile on his lips and pure adoration filling his eyes; it was like he wasn't even aware that Sam was still sitting at the table with him.

The younger Winchester coughed, trying to get Benny's attention. The other man changed his expression to a less pleased one and looked at Sam, raising an eyebrow waiting for him to say something.

“Uh, so, Benny,” Sam started awkwardly, looking down because he couldn't bring himself to look at Benny's eyes. “I know I haven't treated you well in the past. I was terrible to you, actually. But I see things differently now, and I'm really, really sorry about it, so I hope that-”

“I'm not gonna forgive you, if that's what you're asking,” Benny interrupted with a cold tone.

Sam raised his head to look at the other's face: Benny was staring at him with hard eyes, so cold that they seemed made of ice. He was taken aback for a moment, but nodded.

“I understand, I'm to blame for what happened to you, so it's natural that you aren't ready to forgive me.”

“It's not about being ready or not, Sam. I'm never going to forgive you for what you did, ever,” he clarified, letting some hate filter through his otherwise calm, if hard, voice. “Have you got any idea of how much you fucked me up? I understand that you didn't like me, but sending that insane bastard after me?” he asked, almost starting to shake with anger.

“Do you know that he put a knife to my great-granddaughter's throat?  _He_  was the danger, not me. And then I had to save her, and then she knew what I was and I lost any chance of ever seeing her again.” He laughed loudly and bitterly. “The only family I had, and I lost her because of a bastard that  _you_  sent”

“But that's not all, oh no. What about Dean, huh? He was all I had, he meant, and still means, everything to me. I knew you would always come first for him, and I was OK with that. But were you? No, you weren't. You wanted to be the only thing he had, you didn't care that he was suffering as long as he wasn't with me. This disgusting vamp, right? He's been saving Dean's life for a whole year, but Dean will get over him. And why all of that? Because you felt guilty.”

Benny stood and leaned closer to Sam. “You felt guilty that you hadn't even bothered to look for him, and I reminded you of that, I made you think you didn't deserve him.” He leaned even closer, hovering over him almost menacingly. “And you know what? You don't,” he finished quietly.

Sam didn't say anything: He didn't know if there was anything he could say in his defense, and even if there was, he wasn't sure the words would come out of his mouth. Each one of Benny's words went straight to him and pierced his soul with the bitter pain he recognized as the truth.

Benny turned his back on him and walked away a few steps before looking coldly back at him over his shoulder.

“I'm not gonna antagonize you. I know Dean would still choose you over me in a heartbeat. I'm not gonna attack you, because Dean would kill me again and this time he wouldn't even feel guilty. I'll be civil to you, but being friends? Sorry man, that's definitely not gonna happen.”

Sam watched in silence as the vampire exited the room towards the garage without looking back at him, and stayed there, sitting alone, looking down at his hands, thinking about Benny's words.

He swallowed. How could he have been so foolish to think they could get along? He deserved Benny's hatred; he'd fought hard to earn it.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


It was almost five hours later when Sam walked into the bunker again, weary and stiff from the hours inside the car. He didn't see his brother and Benny when he looked into the main room, nor were they in the kitchen, Dean's favorite spot.

In the end he found them in what he guessed was now Benny's room, the one next to Dean's, Benny sitting in a chair and grinning at Dean, who was sitting on the bed and smiling just as widely, as they chatted excitedly – catching up, Sam supposed. About what had happened since Benny died, and also about what they couldn't tell each other when he was still alive but they had parted ways. Because of him.

“Hey Sam,” Dean called with a little smile as soon as he saw him, completely unaware of the way Benny's smile turned into half a sneer in response to the same. “How'd it go?”

“It's definitely a case,” Sam confirmed walking into the room. “I've looked around and I'm thinking rugaru.”

“I see,” Dean replied, adopting a thoughtful expression. “Good thing I told you to come back, then. Going after those sonofabitches can get ugly if you go alone. Are you sure of it?” When Sam confirmed again he nodded. “We should go take care of it, then.”

“It looks like there's only one, and I think I even located where he's hiding. Seems like there's been no deaths yet, too, only attacks.” After that, he stopped for a moment, hesitating, before, awkwardly, addressing the other man on the room. “Benny, I was thinking you'd be very helpful. Would you like to come?”

Sam observed as Dean's face turned into quiet surprise, but clearly the pleased kind, his eyes wide open and a little, almost unbelieving smile on his lips.

As for Benny, he raised one eyebrow and looked at Sam with an expression the younger Winchester was unable to read, before the corners of his lips twitched upwards in a satisfied expression.

“I was gonna tag along anyway,” he replied smugly.

“Great,” Dean said, obviously excited, as he jumped to his feet. He put his hand on Benny's shoulder and squeezed, smiling widely at him. “It's about time you and me go fighting together, isn't it?”

“It's something I've missed an awful lot, brother,” Benny replied, all roughness immediately leaving his face as he smiled at Dean too.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


The trip back to the monster was better than what Sam had expected, he supposed. Benny went on the backseat, talking with Dean in a relaxed manner about things that had happened to them in Purgatory. Things Sam had never heard of. He still was surprised by the familiarity Dean had with Benny, how easily they talked about everything as if they had known each other all their lives.

Benny mostly ignored Sam, unless directly addressed by him, and his replies were civil enough, probably due to Dean being present. For his part, Dean easily talked to both of them, unaware of, or maybe purposefully ignoring, the slight tension between the other two.

They arrived and parked the car next to a medium-sized, old, abandoned building, just before the afternoon gave way to dusk. Benny leaned on the car's hood, whistling in a carefree tone and looking at it as the other two prepared their weapons. Then, as they walked in, his lips turned into a thrilled, eager grin, mimicked to a lesser extent by Dean.

The building wasn't that big, but it was big enough to make all three of them going together impractical; they needed to catch him before it was night and he went to hunt. Soon, after a pat on the shoulder and a promise to be careful, Dean found himself alone, clutching his gun tightly and advancing carefully.

He was inspecting a room when he heard a noise. He went completely still, and a second later, he had his back against the wall, his gun raised, but there was no one. With a frown, Dean advanced, and when he started to lower his weapon, he had the monster on him.

“Fuck,” he hissed as he tried to kick the thing off. “Sam! Benny! Could use some help right now!”

It was no use: No one came through the door, not quick enough at least. Dean continued struggling with the thing, gritting his teeth as he tried to keep its hands away from his face. Eventually, he managed to throw him away for a moment, moment he used to turn around and try to reach his gun. But just as his fingers touched the metal, he felt a hit on his head and he didn't remember anything else.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Sam rushed into the room, his gun raised and ready to shoot, alerted by Dean's screams a couple minutes ago, the couple minutes it had taken him to get there, and the following screeches.

He was alarmed and frantic, but he stood still as soon as his brain processed what he saw: In front of him, the rugaru, lying on the floor with his throat ripped out so much it was almost decapitated; further away, Benny, his mouth and clothes covered in blood, clutching tightly onto an unconscious Dean.

Sam swallowed, slightly nauseated by the sheer brutality of what he saw; it couldn't have taken more than half a minute for Benny to kill the thing so brutally, but at the same time he was immensely relieved. He slowly approached the vampire and noticed that he was worried sick, lowly muttering things to Dean and gripping him so hard his knuckles went white.

“How is he?”

“He got a hit to the head,” Benny muttered as a reply, not moving his eyes away.

Sam nodded, more relieved, and came closer to the two of them.

“He'll be alright, then.”

“Alright?” the other snarled then, half turning his face to stare furious at Sam. “Have you looked at him? He's damn unconscious!”

Sam stepped back, shocked by the sheer rage and contempt he heard in Benny's voice, and, despite himself, fear ran through him for a second. In that moment, with the blood covering him and the fury he had, Benny looked completely savage, feral, dangerous even. Like he'd have no problems snapping Sam's neck if he had enough reasons.

Unaware of what was crossing the man's mind, Benny kept talking in the same voice.

“What would have happened if I hadn't been here, Sam? I walked in just in time, if it had been just you he could've been killed!”

Sam gave yet another step back, Benny's words cutting right through him. He tried to say something, but once again his words failed him.

Benny didn't seem to care that Sam didn't reply: He turned his back on him again and returned his attention to Dean. After a few moments of gathering strength, Sam gave a step forward.

“Benny, he'll be alright,” he assured, forcing his voice to be calm. “He's just unconscious, he'll wake up in a while. He's been through worse. Hell, you've been through worse with him, you know he's a tough one.”

The vampire looked at him again, still visibly angry, but a bit more serene. He stared at Sam side-eyed, scowling and with his lips pursed into a thin line for a few moments, until he nodded slowly. He went back to intensely examine Dean's face.

“You're right, he's tough, but I still worry about him. He means a lot to me. Guess I let it get to me.”

Sam let out a little sigh, relieved that he had gotten a less violent reaction from the vampire.

“Don't worry, I understand, and I'm happy he's got someone who cares so much about him.” He looked at Dean, then at the rugaru and Dean again. “We should take care of this.”

Benny had actually shown him a little, barely-there smile; a peace offering. But when Sam leaned to get Dean, concerned for his brother, he shook his head.

“Let me look after Dean, you take care of the body.”

Sam agreed and went to the rugaru, starting to drag him to the door. Meanwhile, Benny, with the utmost care, as if he was something precious, took Dean in his arms as he stood up. He looked at him with love and worry and leaned to briefly touch their foreheads together before heading to the door after Sam.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


When Dean woke up he didn't immediately know where he was. The room was dark and he went tense, alert, only to relax an instant later when he realized he was in his room in the bunker, one second before his eyes got used to the darkness and he recognized it.

His head hurt a little bit. He groaned softly and took a hand to his temple as he sat up on the bed. He remembered being attacked by the monster and then passing out.

Then there was the sound of someone shifting in the room. Startled, Dean looked at the source of the sound to find Benny sitting on a chair a few feet away from his bed. He had his arms crossed and he was looking at Dean with a small smile on his lips and softness on his eyes.

“Dean” he said, the relief obvious in his voice. “You're awake.”

“Benny” Dean said back. He rubbed his temple a bit and let out a little yawn. “That son of a bitch caught me. Guess you and Sam took care of it.”

“Taken care of,” Benny confirmed with a nod. Then he frowned, pursed his lips a bit. “You've lost practice, mate. It was an easy target, you shouldn't have let it get to you so easily,” he reprimanded sternly. “You need to be more careful.”

“Yeah, right, I let it attack me because that's something I love so much,” Dean replied with a huff, rolling his eyes. He stretched his muscles slowly. “I'm good now, am I not? So don't worry about that. And how long have I been lying here, anyway?”

“About three and a half hours.”

“And how long have you been sitting there?”

“About three and a half hours,” Benny replied with a little shrug as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

“So you've been here all the time?” Dean inquired, raising his eyebrows, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

The other man nodded and stood up from his chair. He took a moment to stretch his arms and his back before walking up to the bed and dropping his weight next to Dean.

“I had nothing better to do,” he answered with a shrug and a teasing smile.

“That's heartwarming. Thank you a lot, Benny,” Dean said rolling his eyes, but there was a fond smile on his lips, a shine of genuine gratitude on his eyes. He rubbed his head one more time absently. “But you shouldn't have bothered, though, I was just passed out. Not the first time, and definitely not the last. You didn't have to watch over me.”

“I know I didn't have to. But I wanted to.”

With a slow motion, he took the hunter's hands in his, and squeezed gently. Dean's eyes went down to them. He was tense for a fraction of second, before deciding to let himself enjoy the physical comfort Benny was offering him, the reminder that he was actually there, and he relaxed. The vampire's hands weren't human warm, but not actually cold either; they had just the right amount of warmth to not be unsettling.

“Even if I had wanted to do anything else, and I didn't, I don't think I could have if I didn't know for sure you were alright.”

Benny's thumb started to absently play with Dean's hands, caressing the skin. Like Dean, he was looking down at their joined hands, although it felt like he wasn't actually seeing them, like his mind was on something else completely.

“Dean, I care a hell of a lot about you, you know that,” he said quietly.

Dean felt the shift in the mood, knew there was something coming. He looked at Benny with his eyes slightly more open than usual. He swallowed hard; he didn't know if he was comfortable with what was coming.

“Come on, Benny, I'm the one who got a hit on the head, if anyone's gotta act weird it's me. What's with all this chick flick? You want a moment? A hug?” he said in an attempt to sound teasing and lighten the mood.

The vampire continued as if Dean had said nothing.

“Nothing is more important to me than you, and I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you,” he continued in a barely audible whisper, as if he could barely muster the courage to talk. “Truth is, you scared me a lot back there, brother. For a moment I thought I had lost you, and Dean, I haven't been more afraid in my life.”

The other said nothing, just kept looking at Benny. Once again he was unable to say anything, the lump in his throat stopping the words from coming out. He believed he knew where Benny was going, and it made his eyes open wide, his heart race fast, his breath stop, his mouth go dry, made him feel expecting and afraid, all of it at once.

And then, Benny raised Dean's hand to his lips, and placed a kiss in the back of it, just a chaste touch of lips against skin. He closed his eyes and put Dean's palm against his cheek, his hand over Dean's to keep it in place for a second before letting go. Dean's hand stayed there.

Benny opened his eyes and his heated gaze locked with Dean's. Dean swallowed hard, his hand started to shake a bit, but he didn't move it nor looked away. A hesitant, little smile that was barely there appeared on his face, an almost imperceptible lifting of the corners of his lips.

The vampire gently put Dean's hand away and leaned forward, looming over Dean. He held Dean's face with one hand, his eyes couldn't move away from the other's lips, which he caressed softly with his thumb. He closed the distance between them and kissed him.

Dean was completely still, his eyes wide open, his breathing stopped for a second. He couldn't even think about what he should do, he could only think about Benny's soft lips moving gently against his and the nice scratch of his beard.

When he finally was able to react, he started moving his lips against Benny's slowly, still somewhat uncertain. His hand traveled to the man's neck, slid upwards to his cheek, and finally buried itself in his hair.

He moved away to take in air. However, when Benny eagerly leaned towards him again looking for another kiss, Dean put a hand on his chest, stopping him.

“Slow down a bit, will you?” he said in a low, almost shaking voice. “I think we should talk about this a bit before deciding anything.”

“What is there to talk about?” Benny inquired hoarsely. “Dean, I love you and I want you. And I know you love me too, you were kissing me back. It's simple, there's no need to make it complicated.”

Dean's heart stopped for two beats before starting to work again at full speed when he heard the word 'love'. Benny had said it, he had actually said it. There was no mistaking this for anything else now, no doubt about if this was just a physical thing.

And precisely in that moment he realized that he, too, loved Benny. That what he felt for him had stopped being only friendship a long time ago and had become something else. That it was something he had only subconsciously known, something he hadn't realized because he hadn't even thought about it.

But now, now Benny had kissed him, and had said that he loved him. And Dean was OK with it. It made him happy, eager, and the thought of kissing Benny again sent his whole body ablaze, but at the same time it made him afraid at the core of his soul.

He breathed deeply a couple times before speaking again.

“Benny, give me a second, alright? This has happened very fast, I just need to take it in.”

Benny looked at Dean's lips again, licked his own a bit absently, but he nodded. “Whatever you say, Dean,” he said moving away a bit. “It's just that I'm very eager. I've wanted to kiss you for a long time, and now it's happening. It's kinda hard to wait.”

Dean nodded, he understood. He bit the inside of his lip lightly, thinking. A moment before he had been thinking of taking a couple hours, maybe a day, to turn the matter over in his head, see if it was a good idea to move so fast.

Maybe the vampire should take some time to get fully used to Earth again before doing anything like this, and maybe he needed to take that same time to mentally prepare himself for what a relationship - because that was what they were heading towards, right? - meant. He had been single since Lisa, and he didn't know if he could stand jumping into another one right in that moment.

But Benny was in love with him, he was in love with Benny, and they had already kissed. They could be content right in that moment. There was nothing to think about, really, just like Benny had said.

He smiled and this time it was him who leaned towards the other.

“Alright, enough thinking. Come here,” he said as he made Benny lie down on the bed. He laid down on top of him, chest against chest, grinning down at Benny's equally grinning face. He went down and placed another kiss against Benny's lips.

The vampire moaned hungrily and effortlessly turned them over, pressing Dean against the mattress, grinning madly against the hunter's lips. Dean was smiling, too, as for the first time in far too long he let himself relax and enjoy the contact of someone he loved.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Dean and Benny had been on a hunt, in a place a few hours away from the bunker; just the two of them, while Sam stayed behind, tending to other business. It had already happened quite a few times during the month Benny had been with them, although it wasn't as usual as when it was just Sam and Dean yet. It was rare when Dean managed to make all three of them go together.

The hunt had been easy enough: It was a djinn, which usually could get pretty ugly even if two were after it, but, for all the years he had spent hunting, Benny knew far more about monsters and their behaviors than Dean did, so following his advice the hunt had been over in a couple hours.

They had gone to a bar afterwards, Benny smiling with amusement as he saw Dean drink and being flirted with while he drank at a much more calm pace. But soon, not even an hour later, he had reached for the hunter and told him they should get going back to the motel.

Of course, Dean had complained, but Benny had insisted, saying that Dean had to be tired from the hunt and that he'd like that Dean got more than four hours of sleep, for once. They would be leaving for the bunker early in the morning. It had taken some convincing, but eventually Dean accepted and they went back.

Later, when they entered the motel room, the first thing Dean did after closing the door behind him was to take his shirt off and put it into the table as Benny, who had gone to sit on the bed, watched with interest. Dean walked to him and cupped his face with his hands, and kissed him. He pushed him roughly to lie on the bed.

Benny laughed softly. “Dean, we said you would rest. Having sex hardly counts as that.”

“You already took beer away from me, now you're not going to stop me from getting a good fuck at least.” Dean shred his trousers, put them next to his shirt and then he was climbing into the bed, straddling Benny's hips and kissing him.

A low grunt rumbled from Benny's chest as his hands instinctively went to grip Dean's hips and then ran them through his back, his sides, his legs. He enthusiastically kissed back, savoring the taste of booze on Dean's tongue. He let out a little moan when he felt the man on top of him start to rub his body against his, sending a rush of flames through his body. He rolled his hips upwards and his hardening dick rubbed Dean's ass. It took quite a bit of effort not to turn them over and fuck Dean raw in that very moment.

“I guess some exercise would help you sleep better” he commented thoughtfully when they parted.

Dean let out a little chuckle and his hand caressed Benny's cheek gently and then his thumb pressed against Benny's lips. The man eagerly opened them and sucked the finger in, his eyes not moving away from Dean's, not even blinking. He nipped at the digit softly, sucked and swirled his tongue around it.

Dean's free hand then slipped between their bodies down to Benny's crotch and took hold of it, massaging and fondling.

The effect was immediate: Benny let out a loud grunt and the next thing Dean knew was that he was under Benny, pinned to the bed. His hands were on both sides of his head, firmly held in place by Benny's with just enough force to hurt a bit. Benny was kissing him violently, his tongue invading Dean's mouth and his lips moving against Dean's so hungrily Dean was sure he would leave bruises.

Next he moved to Dean's chin, which he nibbled playfully. He spent a couple minutes kissing along Dean's jawline, and then he maneuvered Dean's wrists so that he was holding them both with a single hand, over Dean's head; the other brushed Dean's cheek for a moment. And then, with a growl, it turned into a fist in his hair and pulled violenty backwards, making Dean gasp loudly and expose his neck.

He licked slowly from Dean's collarbone to his chin a couple times. He could almost feel the taste of the warm, delicious, tempting blood rushing underneath the skin on his tongue, and suddenly he was incredibly aware of the potentially lethal weapons in his gums, but he managed to keep them inside. When he bit down, he did so with his blunt human teeth, hard enough to hurt Dean and leave marks, and that earned him a gasp and a buck of Dean's hips, his dick rubbing against Benny's stomach.

Smirking smugly against Dean, he bit down a few more times, and kissed and bit his way down Dean's body. As soon as Dean's hands were free, they got a handful of Benny's hair, pressing him closer roughly, while Benny's went to play roughly with the man's nipples, pinching and squeezing.

“Beautiful, you're so beautiful, Dean” he breathed against Dean's bellybutton, his eyes closed and rubbing his cheek against the soft skin. His beard tickled Dean and made him let out a little laugh. “So pretty and perfect and mine, only mine.”

“Hey, don't go poetic on me, alpha male, or you're gonna make me laugh” Dean snorted, his amusement clear in his voice, but not quite as much as the huskiness and raw desire.

Ignoring Dean, Benny kept going down until his face was in front of Dean's groin. He locked his gaze with Dean's as he breathed heavily over the point where Dean's dick was, and enjoyed the way Dean squirmed, waiting for him to do something. Then, with the most innocent of looks, he pressed his open mouth over the head of Dean's dick.

Dean's hips bucked upwards and his hands buried Benny's head in his groin, but Benny remained calm as he mouthed calmly and lazily, the only stimulation he offered Dean being his lips pressing a little bit tighter. He used his tongue on the length then, and could taste the precome through the cloth. He teased with his lips and tongue, sucked a bit, and enjoyed the little moans and noises he was rewarded with.

When he moved away, he spent a second inspecting the wet spot on the boxers, both from spit and precome. He met Dean's begging eyes again, and with a little smirk, caught the cloth with his teeth, on the point the base of Dean's dick met his balls, and pulled down. He chuckled when he heard the little curse Dean let out, but didn't stop as he removed the piece of clothing, using his hands only to push himself down the bed, until he was kneeling on the floor and opened his mouth, dropping the boxers.

He looked up and saw Dean's dick, finally free, hard as it could be and standing proud. He didn't pay it much attention, however. Instead, his eyes fixed on Dean's muscled, thick legs, which were in front of him hanging from the edge of the bed.

His hands went to the left one and he ran them up and down the skin, feeling the thin layer of hair. He held it carefully as he put his lips on it and kissed slowly up and down, from knee to ankle and up again, while his hand caressed the back of it. He nibbled at the flesh and licked it repeatedly, drawing his tongue and tasting the skin.

He leaned back a bit taking the limb with him, making Dean spread it out. Now he had better access to the back of the leg, muscled but soft, oh so soft, and he couldn't help but moan as he gave it all his attention, while his arms wrapped around it. He bet it would be a great place to draw blood from; his fangs would easily sink into the soft flesh, just like his teeth and fingers were doing now.

A moment later he was pushing the thought away; he was perfectly happy with what he had, for now.

One of his hands slipped away from the leg and softly caressed the other one. He briefly gazed at Dean, who was watching him back, perhaps a little eager to have attention back in his dick, but definitely not complaining, smirking as he saw Benny worshipping him.

He smirked and let the leg drop, and spent a few minutes giving the other one the same treatment. He raised it as much as he could and kissed his way down its back side, from ankle to asscheek. He raised the other one and Dean hooked his ankles with his hands. Benny smiled at the sight before him, but only kissed and licked, teased the entrance, for a short moment before moving away.

He stood up and quickly got his shirt off, not even caring where it landed when he threw it somewhere in the room. Next he loosened his belt and got rid of his trousers and underwear, which had become quitte annoying a while ago. He stood still for a second, smirking and enjoying the way Dean's hungry eyes took him in, almost as if he was ready to eat him up. Then, he climbed into the bed and sat on it, resting his back against the headboard.

“Come here” he muttered as he gripped Dean's wrist and yanked him closer. Dean complied and happily settled on the space between Benny's spread legs, his body falling against his and their cocks touching. Cupping Dean's face in his hands, Benny drew him in for a sloppy, hard kiss. He bit down on Dean's lower lip and licked into his mouth as he hummed and grunted in contentment.

Once again he took hold of Dean's hair and pushed him down at the same time he looked up, baring his neck. Dean understood what he wanted and started kissing the other's skin in a much calmer way than Benny had. He hummed against Benny's neck as he nibbled softly, running his tongue through the skin his teeth caught. Dean ran his hands through Benny's sides, his shoulders, his beard and jaw, leaving a trail of flames everywhere he touched.

Benny breathed heavily, his eyes half-closed. One hand rested on Dean's shoulder, and with the other one, still grabbing the man's hair, he pulled him further down, at the height of his chest. He watched with an almost feverish heat as Dean took the bud of his nipple between his teeth and rolled it slowly, casting his eyes up looking for approvation. Benny nodded silently and caressed Dean's hair with his fingers, tender but firm.

For his part, Dean didn't need any encouragement, already enthusiastically lapping at the nipple, some drool slipping down his chin into Benny's chest, while he caressed the other with his hand. With the other, he took hold of both his and Benny's dicks and started to slowly move his hand up and down, again and again, which got him a mix of grunt and moan from the other man.

Benny enjoyed the feeling of Dean's warm, wet tongue on him for a few more moments before shifting again.

“Lie down, on your back” he ordered, and he smirked satisfied when Dean hurried to obey and looked at him expecting, his wide eyes full of eagerness, want and trust.

He lied on top of him, kissing him softly and for a few moments forgetting everything else. Then, he raised his body so he was kneeling over the other. He straddled Dean's chest, settling his part of his weight down, stopping him from moving and knowing Dean could handle it. His dick stood erect between his face and Dean's, so he couldn't see a part of it.

Once again gentle but firm, he took the hands Dean offered him and pinned them down above his head, both immovilizing them and supporting his own weight. His other hand returned to its place on Dean's hair, where he pulled down, which would have made Dean open his mouth if he hadn't already done it himself.

“That's my good boy” Benny praised with a toothy smirk.

After shifting his weight to line up his dick with Dean's mouth, he moved his hips making it hit Dean's cheeks a couple times, producing a slick sound, and offered the man a grin when he looked up at him with annoyance. Said annoyance disappeared from Dean's eyes, however, when the tip of Benny's thick dick slipped into his mouth and rested on his tongue.

Benny's head fell backwards as he groaned in pleasure when Dean circled the head with his tongue and swallowed around it. He slowly pushed deeper into the wet, warm, glorious mouth, until he almost reached Dean's throat, then pulled back almost completely out, and Dean licked the head again.

He repeated the motion again and again and again, the pace increasing each time until it was fast and rough, his heavy balls slapping against Dean's chin every time. At first Dean tried to keep stimulating Benny's dick with his tongue and lips, but it was too fast for him to do so, so he decided to open his mouth, let it go slack, and allowed Benny to fuck his mouth, moaning loudly around his cock.

Drool started falling from his mouth into his chin, the repeated slapping sounds turning slick, covering Benny's gasps and grunts. The pressure made his wrist start to ache, but Dean didn't complain in any way. He kept enjoying the situation, the total power Benny had over him and the taste of Benny in his mouth, until Benny pulled out of his mouth and didn't go back in. Benny's dick was covered in spit, and Dean kissed it where he could, on the base, on the balls, before Benny moved away.

Benny looked deeply flustered, his breathing heavy and somewhat erratic, his eyes half closed. He released Dean's wrists and hair and shifted so he wasn't sitting on him anymore.

“Was gonna come already” he offered as explanation and leaned so he could kiss him, hungry and eager, and Dean kissed back the same way. Benny's hands slipped under Dean and grabbed a handful of his ass, squeezing the cheeks. He slipped down, briefly pulling Dean's lower lip with his teeth as he moved away, and then he was kneeling on the floor again.

Like before, he raised Dean's legs and the man got them, helping to keep them raised and exposing his ass to Benny. Benny grinned at the sight and nosed briefly at the crack before running his tongue along it, which made Dean bit his lower lip to stop himself from making any noise.

Benny ran his tongue again, it briefly catching on Dean's hole and going up to Dean's balls which he tongued too and sucked into his mouth. Then he licked repeatedly and messily over the hole, and nibbled at the soft flesh around it playfully. He drew circles around the hole with the tip of his tongue, smaller and smaller until it was still at the center of it, and then he, slowly, pushed in.

One of his hands slipped from Dean's leg and went down to his groin, where it wrapped around his dick. He stroked a few times, slow and lazy, as his tongue went deeper and licked inside, making Dean moan. He soon found the point that made the man go completely still and tense for a second, and at a second lick he moaned loudly in pure bliss. Smirking againt Dean's ass, Benny focused all his attention there, licking slowly in time with his hand's strokes, making Dean whimper and beg. His thumb caressed the head of Dean's cock, wet and slippery with precome, and squeezed at the same time his teeth caught and pulled at the skin.

A couple minutes later he moved away to look at Dean's hole, which was wet, messy and gaping open. He nodded, satisfied, and slapped the cheek loudly before standing and letting Dean's legs fall.

“Hope you brought lube, chief.”

“On the second pocket of the bag.”

Benny found it there and came back to the bed. After maneuvering Dean to lie face-down, he poured some lube directly on his cock and spread it slowly with his hand, going up and down and twisting around the head while he moaned softly and Dean watched hungrily. Next he poured some more on his fingers and set the bottle aside as he covered Dean's open ass with it.

He lied on top of Dean, chest against back. His dick settled along Dean's crack and Benny rubbed it a couple time with slow movements of his hips as his arm snaked around Dean's torso and he kissed his neck and shoulders. With his other hand, he aligned his dick until its head found the hole, and then pushed in.

He didn't do it too fast, but didn't stop either until he was balls-deep, which made Dean bury his face in the pillow, and then immediately moved out at the same pace. He repeated the motion three times, not going any quickier. When he was almost out, only the tip still inside, his hips snapped forward without any sort of warning, making the bed tremble and immediately settling into a far harsher pace.

Benny grinned shakily when he heard Dean hiss loudly, but he knew Dean was grinning too despite not being able to see his face. His hand traveled to Dean's nape and, in a rough movement, pushed his head down and buried it more in the pillow at the same he pushed his upper body sightly up, getting a better angle for his thrusts. He heard a muffled mix of laugh and moan coming from Dean and smirked wider.

Dean's hips were moving too, going back at the same time Benny's did forward. His hands found their way to Benny's hips, grabbing where they could reach. He moved his hands along with the movements of their hips, and grabbed a handful of Benny's asscheeks, burying his fingers and kneading the soft flesh there.

Benny grunted in approval at the same time he made his movements sightly harder, faster, deeper. He buried his face on Dean's nape, breathing heavily against his skin, eyes half closed in pleasure. He could feel Dean's walls clenching around him, sending rushes of pleasure through him from the head of his cock that clouded his mind.

In a sharp movement, he yanked Dean's head up so he could kiss him, a kiss Dean eagerly returned as they moaned and gasped into each other's lips. He pulled back, going to his knees, and the arm around Dean pulled him with him. He ran his hands across Dean's chest and stomach repeatedly, marveling at how warm and soft it was, and then his fingers played roughly with Dean's balls before taking his dick and stroking hard, making Dean moan louder into his mouth.

The room was filled with the slick sounds of skin against skin, Benny's dick entering Dean again and again, Benny's balls hitting the back of Dean's, the pleasured and animalistinc moans and grunts they emmited, the grinding of the bed beneath them and the headboard slamming into to the wall.

Quite a few minutes later Dean went as still as he could, and Benny heard his breathing and heartbeat go erratic. He quickened the pace at which he masturbated Dean, added some twists of his wrist and payed special attention to the sensitive tip, and few seconds later Dean was shaking in his arms and both his hand and the wall was covered in thick, white fluid.

He felt Dean's hole gasp around his dick through the man's orgasm, heard Dean let out a little scream of pleasure as he reached climax, and he couldn't help but bite down hard on the man's shoulder, adding yet another mark to the ones he would have in the morning. Even though Dean had gone limp in his hold, momentarily disconnected from everything else after orgasming, he kept fucking into him at the same punishing pace, tightening his arms around him and burying his face in his sweat-covered skin.

A couple minutes later, he roughly pushed Dean forward and he fell into the bed. Benny pulled out of him and with a grunt took himself in hand, stroking as fast as he could. Seconds after, his semen covered all of Dean's back, from ass to almost neck, and his own hand. With a exhausted sigh, Benny fell on his side beside Dean.

Dean was breathing heavily, catching his breath, but that didn't stop him from smirking at Benny, who smirked back. Wordlessly, Benny showed him his hand, in which there were both of their comes, and he patted Dean's cheek with it a couple times, smearing him and producing a slick sound. Before Dean could protest, he drew him into a heated, but calmer and lazy, kiss.

They remained silent for a couple minutes, looking at the ceiling and Benny's arm placed across Dean's shoulder, keeping him close.

“I'm dirty” Dean declared once he had recovered. “And thirsty.”

Benny nodded and slapped Dean's thigh, after which he got up the bed, giving Dean a good view of his backside.

“You know, Benny, you got a pretty great ass too” he commented. “It'd be a waste that no one ever played with it.”

Benny offered him a naughty grin over his shoulder as he slapped his own asscheek, but made no comment. He went to the bathroom and came out with a couple wet towels, with which he cleaned Dean's back. Then Dean cleaned his face and some of the wall, and when he was done Benny was back at his side again, with a glass of water this time, which Dean gratefully accepted and gulped down.

Benny took the glass from Dean's hand and placed it on the nightstand. Then he kissed Dean's forehead and made him lie down gently.

“Now sleep a bit, will you? You gotta rest.”

“What about you?”

Benny sat, resting his back on the headboard and crossed his arms. Dean pressed his head against his thigh and Benny's hand instinctively went to caress his hair.

“I only need a couple hours of sleep, and sleeping at night isn't much of my thing anyway. I'll sleep in a while and read or something like that until then.”

Dean nodded tiredly and closed his eyes, suddenly realizing just how tired he was. He adjusted his head against Benny, with a little smile on his lips.

Benny watched him with a fond smile until, five minutes later, the rhythm of Dean's breathing had evened out, indicating he had falled asleep. He caressed his face tenderly, a look of adoration on his eyes, and kissed his forehead again.

Then, careful not to make any sharp moves, he stood from the bed and entered the bathroom, getting a quick shower. He next gathered his clothes from the floor, got ready to leave and went out the door, silently locking it behind him.

He walked back to the bar they had been in, about fifteen minutes away. He went back in, sat in a corner and ordered a drink, to not seem too strange mostly. His eyes wandered through the establishment, looking for a specific woman until he found her, and he didn't look away after that.

Benny waited. Ten minutes, twenty, half an hour, until an hour and a half later, he saw her leave the bar. He stood, paid, and did the same.

He followed her silently, the woman completely unaware of his presence. He followed her to a block and then to the third floor. He watched from the shadows that hid him as she opened the door of her apartment and walked in, closing it behind her.

Quickly, but calmly, he went to the door and knelt before it. He searched in his pockets until he found a picklock, then started working on the lock. Soon, less than a minute later, he was soundlessly walking inside the home, and just as soundlessly closed the door leaning his back against it.

He stood completely still for a second, his eyes watchful as they moved, inspecting the house. The entranceway he was in, sparsely decorated, connected to a hallway with four doors to the sides and one at the end. It was pitch dark, except for the light that came out of what he guessed was the kitchen, judging by the sounds coming out of it.

Careful not to make any noise, like the predator he was, he advanced towards it and looked inside. The woman had her back to the door, picking something from a cupboard, so she couldn't see when Benny came into the room, nor when he stepped towards her.

With a quick movement, he grabbed her arm and turned her around, slamming her against a wall and putting one hand on her mouth to mute her scream before it was out.

“Hi,” he said politely, flashing her a little smile as he ignored her screams and writhing, or as much as he could at least. They were pretty annoying. He put his other hand on her neck and pressed, just enough to get the point across. “Look, it's better for everyone if you calm down, so why don't you, huh?”

She tried to quiet herself, although she didn't quite manage it: She was still screaming against Benny's hand, if far more quietly, and tears were starting to appear around her panicked eyes. Still, it was good enough for Benny.

“Now, isn't this a lot nicer?” he asked, his smile widening. “Don't worry, I'm not here to rape you or anything like that, if that's what's worrying you. You're not really my type,” he commented as he gave her a quick once over and shrugged.

“I need to talk to you about something, that's all. Do you remember the guy you were flirting with earlier tonight?” When he saw no recollection in her eyes, he elaborated. “Brown hair, beautiful green eyes, a lot of freckles, plain gorgeous? He was not too interested but it took a while for you to get the hint.”

A spark appeared on her eyes and she nodded frantically. Benny nodded in a much calmer way, satisfied.

“Good. Well, look, the thing is that that guy is mine,” he said slowly, all niceness suddenly gone from his face as he moved closer to her, breathing on her face menacingly. “And I'm not too much of the sharing type, you know? Took all my will not to kill you right there. Do you understand?”

The woman nodded, even more nervous than before, as the tears started to fall from her eyes. Benny smiled at her sweetly and caressed her cheek.

“That's good. Because I'd have hated that you died without knowing why. You deserve that much, at least.”

Her eyes widened and suddenly her struggling became far more desperate and she was screaming, much louder than before, although still muffled by Benny's hand. It became even louder, though, when she saw Benny's fangs come out of his gums.

Benny took his hand away from her neck and one second later his fangs sank into the flesh there, biting deep and careless. He drank eagerly, desperately, as she struggled and twisted, and kept drinking as her movements became weaker and weaker with every passing second.

Finally, he gave a step back and licked his blood-stained lips as he impassively watched her fall to the floor. She was still alive, he noted, still breathing and apparently conscious, but in shock, but by the looks of it she wouldn't remain that way for too long.

He leaned against the counter and shrugged as he watched her with interest. “Nothing personal, sweetheart. I admit it was because you had the bad luck to be the one to piss me off, but I couldn't stop myself anymore and it had to be someone. Look at the bright side: thanks to you, someone else is gonna live tonight.”

He crossed his arms thoughtfully and tilted his head as he watched her, still breathing, still unmoving. He didn't know if she was hearing him, but, truth be told, he didn't care.

“But actually, you know, this is the first time in a long while I do this. Feeding, I mean. Proper feeding, not those damn blood bags, they make me nauseous. I have been trying this month, though, making do with them. I was having doubts if I really should go hunting again, tried to stick to the bags, but what can I do? This is who I am, nothing beats human blood. And this is what I'm here for, after all. Anyway, I hope this gives me strength to last at least another month.”

He looked at her for a little while longer, and then walked out of the kitchen. He inspected the other rooms of the house until he found the bathroom. When he did, he spent a few minutes thoroughly washing the blood off his mouth and his beard, also rinsing his mouth, not willing to risk any taste of blood remaining there when he kissed Dean in the morning.

Once he was done, he stopped at the kitchen again before leaving the house, checking how the woman was doing. Not only was she not dead yet, but she had managed to drag herself halfway across the room, leaving a trail of blood behind her.

“Impressive,” Benny admitted, raising his eyebrows. As he looked at her, something stirred in his mind, something that whispered at him that maybe, just maybe, he should do something, help her a little. He frowned. Why should he, though? It'd be much easier for him if she died, and she meant nothing to him. But if she was going to die anyway, what was the harm in giving her a little hope? He didn't care if she died, but then again, he didn't care if she lived either.

Rolling his eyes at himself, and not sure why he was doing it, he returned to the bathroom. There, he looked for the first aid kit. Once he found it, he returned and put it next to her hand. Next, he grabbed her phone from the table and dialed the hospital number, after which he placed it in the other hand.

“There, not gonna do anything more for you. Good luck,” he said, nodding at her.

After that, he left the apartment. By the time he reached the street he heard an ambulance coming closer. He smirked a bit at himself, briefly wondering if they'd make it in time. After that thought, he got her completely out of his mind.

He started whistling in a carefree manner as he made his way back to the motel, where a sleeping Dean - and Benny had made sure that the man would be asleep all night long, no inconvenient wake-up's in the middle of the night - was blissfully unaware Benny was gone, and when he woke up and they headed back home in the morning he wouldn't suspect a thing.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Dean's arms were crossed behind Benny's neck as the man hungrily kissed him. Benny was grunting in an animalistic manner, rolling his hips against Dean's. He sucked on Dean's bottom lip, biting at it and pulling roughly, before licking up to his earlobe and doing the same to it.

They were in Dean's room, which they now shared, on the bed, Benny on top of Dean with his leg pressed between the hunter's. Their shirts were splayed on the floor, the skin of their chests touching, and Dean's trousers were already unzipped.

Benny kissed his way down to Dean's neck, licking it a couple times and then pressed his mouth against it, sucking hard and enthusiastically. His hands slipped under Dean towards his ass and squeezed roughly. Dean tightened his hold on Benny's neck, pressing him closer, and his breathing became more erratic. In response, he felt Benny grinning against his skin.

But then, Benny stopped everything he was doing. He went completely still for a moment and then Dean felt something different brush against his neck. Several sharp somethings that weren't there before.

Instinctively, before he even thought about it, Dean pushed Benny away, who let himself be pushed, and looked at him with wide, surprised eyes. Benny had turned to hide his face, but in the moment it took him to do so, Dean had seen him: His fangs were out, and his eyes had been fixed on Dean's neck.

“Benny, what the hell?”

He saw Benny tense, his shoulders going up a bit and his hands grasping the edge of the mattress. He turned his face a bit towards Dean. His fangs were hidden again and he licked his lips nervously.

"I'm sorry, chief. I, huh, I got too enthusiastic and lost control for a second. But it's good now," he assured as his eyes went back to Dean's neck for the briefest of seconds. When Dean didn't answer but remained silently looking at him instead, he turned more towards the hunter, facing him.

“Dean, you know I would never hurt you, right?” he asked, his voice giving away a hint of uncertainty and anxiousness, as his hand hesitantly took Dean's.

Dean remained glaring for a few moments. However, the look on Benny's eyes, the uncertainty and guilt, quickly softened him. He sighed.

"Yeah, Benny, of course I know. You startled me, that's all."

The vampire smiled, relieved, and took Dean's palm to his lips, kissing it as he looked at Dean's eyes. He came closer again and kissed him passionately.

He muttered another apology and slipped back down to his neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around the hunter as he lapped at the skin, and then buried his face in Dean's shoulder. He kissed, sucked, and nibbled with his human teeth.

"It's just that you smell mighty delicious, Dean, so perfect for me. You can't even imagine," he explained with a moan.

“Benny, can you not do that, please?”

The other smirked up at him. "Hey, relax. You're safe with me."

Before Dean had a chance to reply, he kissed him again enthusiastically. Slowly, Dean relaxed and forced the issue out of his mind, for the moment at least, kissing back with as much passion.

"Dean, how much do you trust me?" Benny asked breathlessly between one kiss and the next.

"Absolutely," was the immediate answer. Dean didn't even need to think about it.

"Good," the vampire breathed against his ear. "Then, how about letting me feed from you? Just a little bit."

Dean froze and, for the second time, pushed the other away. He was a bit pale, and saw with shock, and a bit of fear, the hungry way in which Benny eyed him.

"What the hell are you saying, man?"

"You just said you trust me, brother. I'm not going to harm you," he assured carefreely. "It's easy to feed without harming, a bit of self-control is all it takes. Think of it as another way to have sex. You like a bit of pain, don't you?" he suggested wriggling his eyebrows, a naughty smirk on his lips.

"And to me, it's much more than that. It's not just that it'd make me feel far more alive than those blood bags do. Dean, it's hard to explain, but it'd make me feel close to you, make me feel that we belong to each other in a way you can't imagine. I want it because I love you."

"I don't know, Benny," Dean mused. He looked at Benny with doubt in his eyes and bit his lower lip worriedly. "You're asking for a lot here."

Slowly, Benny's grin disappeared and was replaced by an ashamed, self-conscious expression. He cast his eyes down and his hands gripped the edge of the mattress.

"Yeah, right, I get it" he muttered. He remained silent for a second. "You don't trust me that much. It's logical."

Dean felt a pang of pain pierce him as soon as he heard the hurt in Benny's voice. He moved towards the other and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"What? No, Benny, that's not true. I trust you completely."

"You don't have to lie, brother. I understand. You're right; I'm a vampire after all, self-control's something I kind of have a problem with, don't I?" he commented, trying to force a little laugh to lighten the mood. "I shouldn't have asked, it was stupid of me. Please, forget it."

"No," Dean said resolutely. "You're wrong, Benny. I trust you, you've earned it more times than I can count, and I'm going to prove it to you if I have to." He threw his head to a side, exposing his neck to the vampire. "Here you go, go ahead."

"Dean, are you sure about this?" Benny asked with a worried voice. However, he couldn't hide the tone of lust.

"Just make sure not to dry me and we'll be OK," he assured with a little smirk.

The vampire didn't need anything else. He buried his face in Dean's neck as he held the hunter with a strong grasp, gave it a small kiss, and then carefully sank his fangs in.

Dean shivered a little. It didn't hurt as much as he'd thought it would, but it was still a strange sensation. Benny hummed against his skin as he drank and caressed the hunter's body lovingly, trying to reassure him.

It was over after a few minutes. Benny retracted his fangs a second before Dean started to feel the blood loss. The vampire licked a few times at the still bleeding wound and moved away just enough to look into Dean's eyes. There was blood on his lips and his beard. A few drops slowly ran down his neck and chest before dripping into the mattress. He would look dangerous if not for the softness of his face.

"Thank you," he said reverently, as if it was a prayer, as he gently held Dean's face with his hands. His eyes shone with pure adoration and devotion as he looked upon Dean's face. "Dean, you are wonderful. You are so far more than I deserve."

"What can I say?" Dean replied with a cheeky grin. He was still a little tense, but mostly relaxed now. "I am just that good."

Benny smirked at him and leaned in to kiss him, a chaste touch of lips that left Dean's mouth wet with his own blood. Benny pulled him into an embrace and kissed his temple. On his lips, now that Dean couldn't see his face, he allowed himself to have a self-satisfied, sharp smirk.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Benny's truck had been parked next to the bar for more than half an hour now. The vampire's fingers were drumming on the wheel, and had he had a working heart, it would be racing, beating hard against his chest. His unneeded breathing was a bit erratic, his eyes were closed and he was biting his lip.

Dean had offered to go with him, but Benny had declined. She was his great-granddaughter, he had said, the only family he had left, and he wanted to meet her on his own, just the two of them. Now, however, it felt like having Dean's support was something he needed.

He had caught glimpse of her a couple times through the windows, and if he focused hard enough he could even hear her chatting amiably with the patrons. She was so beautiful, so lively, and despite his anxiousness Benny couldn't help but smile widely and feel proud.

He wondered for a moment if she had hired someone else after he had left. If she had replaced him even after learning that he wasn't just a coworker, that he was her blood. He knew that she most likely had, and why shouldn't she? But still, the thought ate at him.

He wondered what she thought of him. Did she think of him as family, like he did of her, did she understand he had been desperate and she had been the hope he found? Or did she consider him a stranger that had no link with her and had put her in danger? He couldn't know until she told him herself.

It was well after sunset, the place far less crowded than when he had arrived, and quieter. There could be some sort of intimacy inside. Hopping out of the truck, Benny headed for the door. His anxiousness grew with every step he gave, but it only took a second's hesitation before he walked in.

The first thing he saw was that she had her back to the door. He saw almost in slow motion as she turned around and her eyes widened as soon as she saw him. He heard her heart skip a beat and then go racing sending her blood through her veins.

Benny almost thought he suffocated and almost felt like he had a beating heart in his chest as he approached. She was even more beautiful than he remembered, he thought when there was only the counter between them, observing her face carefully. The lump in his throat stopped him from saying anything.

“Roy,” she finally muttered, her eyes fixed on his face as if she couldn't quite believe he was there.

“Hey, Lizzie,” he called back in a shaky voice. He tried to force a relaxed smile on his lips, but he was painfully aware of just how clearly she was able to see through it.

A moment later she seemed to react and hastily indicated him to sit down, which he nervously did.

His great-granddaughter cast her eyes down and licked her lip nervously. She carefully eyed the people remaining on the bar, who didn't seem to be paying any attention to them, laughing and yelling, as if she was evaluating whether or not they would hear them.

Benny felt himself dying on the inside all over again. It had been stupid of him to just walk in like that, she clearly wasn't comfortable with him there, wanted him gone. And why would it be any other way? The last time she had seen him he was running away, covered in the blood of the man he had savagely killed right in front of her.

He was about to mutter an excuse and leave, but then she locked eyes with him and smiled. She was actually smiling at him, small and shy, but genuine.

“Benny,” she said, her voice giving away some nervousness and excitement. “It's good to see you.”

“Is it?” Benny stared back at her and smiled back as he felt relief rush through him.

“Of course it is. That friend of yours, Dean, he came to check on me. He explained enough to me.”

Benny nodded nervously. “So, huh, about what happened last time...”

Elizabeth let out a small nervous laugh and worried her lip a bit. It seemed like she had to think about what she was going to say before she continued slowly.

“He was going to kill you just for being alive, even if he knew you had done nothing wrong. And he had threatened me too. I'll admit it was... disturbing. I wish it hadn't happened. But I understand that what happened was something he only had himself to blame, he pushed you to the edge. I'm not sure what I felt right then, but I've had time to think about it, and yeah, I'm happy to see you're well.”

Benny's smile widened and his and his descendant's hands met in the middle of the counter, easily sliding together. The man looked at her hand as the most precious thing he had ever seen. It was small and soft, and it gave him warmth that went directly to his withered heart.

For a couple minutes they said nothing else, just wordlessly enjoying each other's presence. It was her who broke the silence.

“Your friend, Dean. He came here a few months ago. He told me that you were gone.”

“I was,” Benny confirmed softly looking up at her again. “But I'm not anymore.”

He didn't offer any more details. It seemed like she wanted more, but sensed him tense and, after a moment, she accepted it and stopped herself from asking. For now at least, Benny thought fondly.

“That's good. I thought I wouldn't see you again.”

“You're not getting rid of me so easily, kid. I'm your great-grandpa after all.”

She laughed suddenly at that. It was a soft sound, warm and clear, and Benny thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard.

“Yeah, you are. So, my great-grandpa. And a vampire, too.”

“Well, I used to age well, as you can see, but I'm afraid not even me could have remained this beautiful so long without some help,” he commented, winking at her, earning him another laugh.

“And what were you doing here? Looking after me or something like that?”

Benny caressed her hand, running his thumb softly along the back of it. He took it gently to his face and placed a small kiss on it. Afterwards, he cradled the hand between his.

“I was trying to do that. But really, you looked after me more than I did for you, even if you didn't realize it. I was lost, Lizzie. I had nowhere to go, no family to be with. Until I found you. You can't imagine how happy I was.” He smiled wistfully and kissed her hand again. “And maybe you've already been told, but Lizzie, you look exactly like your grandma. My daughter.”

“I've been told so,” she confirmed, smiling warmly and happily at him. “I bet you have some stories to tell about her.”

There was a shift in the mood. Benny smiled sadly and shook his head. He let her hand slip away from his. There was a long silence before he answered.

“Not too many. She was eight when I was turned. When I had to leave her,” he explained in a soft, slightly broken voice, looking somewhere else. “And my wife too. I tried to check on them a couple times. All I got was a sight from away every few years, but eventually I realized I was more of a danger to them than anything else. So I stopped coming back. I missed my daughter's life.”

Elizabeth placed her hand over Benny's, looking compassionately at him. “She had a good life, that much I can assure you.”

They both remained silent after that, he lost in the memories of what he had lost, she not knowing what she could say. The only sound was that of the last remaining clients walking out, leaving the two of them alone.

She excused herself softly as she went to prepare for closing, giving him time to turn the matter over in his head. She felt he needed to. When she came back ten minutes later, he was recovered, smiling again. She sat on the stool next to his.

“So Lizzie, you said Dean came after I left and also when I died. Does he usually visit you?”

“He's come a couple times since then, yeah. He tries to make it look like a coincidence, but I can tell he comes to check how I'm doing. He asks if there's any trouble and helps with the bar. And eats a lot of pecan pie.”

A gentle smile appeared on Benny's lips, softer than any he had since he had arrived. “Do you like him, then?”

“Yeah, he's a nice man. It's good when he comes to visit.”

Benny felt a warm, happy feeling settling on his chest and spreading through all his body at the thought of Dean and Elizabeth liking and caring about each other. The only two people that really mattered.

“Well, you're probably gonna see him more often from now on, since I'm back.”

Elizabeth flashed him a smile. Then she frowned a bit as a thought crossed her mind.

“I may be wrong, I didn't get many details, but I think there was someone who worked with Dean. He's the one who sent that crazy man after you. He wanted you gone.”

A shadow of utter contempt and hate briefly crossed Benny's face. “Yeah, there was. Sam,” he almost spat the name out.

Elizabeth sensed the change on Benny's mood and cast a concerned gaze at him.

“Is that still a problem?” she asked quietly.

“It's not fully solved yet. But don't worry, it will be soon,” he assured cuttingly. Then he realized how his voice sounded. He closed his eyes for a second, composed himself, and showed her a more relaxed smile.

Elizabeth didn't seem fully convinced. Her brow was still frowned and her lips in a thin line, inspecting her great-grandfather's face, but she nodded eventually. Not wanting to press the issue, she put her hand on Benny's shoulder and squeezed. Then she stood and walked out, Benny following her.

“Do you have any place to stay the night?” she asked as she closed the door.

“I'm only staying a couple days, most likely, so the truck will do well enough” he replied with a shrug.

She frowned at him and pressed her lips into a thin line. “None of that. I have a free bedroom at my place, and you're family. You're staying with me.”

“That's what I was hoping to hear, actually” Benny said with a little smirk and a wink.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


He didn't separate from her for more than half an hour the couple days he spent with her. When she was at home, they spent the time catching up: There was a lot Elizabeth wanted to know about him, about his life before he had left, and in turn, now that she knew who he was, he could ask her directly what had happened with his family.

And when she was at the café, there he was too, helping her. Truth was, he had missed working there, the simplicity of it all, its carefree nature, remembering the times when he was human and as far as he was concerned, there was nothing else in the world but his small town.

He eyed Elizabeth sideways as he washed some dishes. For a brief moment, there were no clients to take care of, and his descendant had taken that moment to go chat with a young man, about her age, who had been sitting there long after he was finished.

Benny frowned imperceptibly as he observed Elizabeth lean forward to let the man whisper something in her ear. They both giggled like giddy teenagers. He remembered the guy from the last time he had been there, an absolutely average man, with no future. He remembered he was Lizzie's friend, but it seemed like that was growing into something more.

He sneered. That brat wasn't good enough for his Lizzie. Not even close.

Elizabeth smiled at him one last time before standing. Benny put on a calm mask and returned to his task just one second before she turned to face him.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


He would be leaving in the morning. It had been good to see her, he thought smiling fondly at her, sleeping peacefully. Benny brushed her cheek with his finger in the softest of caresses. She really was beautiful, and gentle and kind. He would miss her so much, but at least this time he knew he would come back. This time, he wouldn't be gone forever.

He stepped back and leaned against the wall, arms crossed, careful not to make any noise. The warm, loving smile remained on his face as he watched her in silence.

After a while he looked at his wrist, deep in thought. He could do it then, it would be so easy. All he had to do was to sink his fangs in there and make her drink his blood. It would be done in less than a minute and then she, his only family, would never leave him, and would never push him away.

But as soon as the thought entered his mind, immediately, a visceral feeling of rejection and revulsion settled on his stomach. With a soft grunt, and careful not to make any noise and wake her, he exited the room as quickly as he could.

He rushed to the room she had offered him and closed the door behind him, resting his back against it. After a couple minutes he felt himself relax and his mind became clearer.

When she was turned, Elizabeth would need guidance, and that was something he could not provide in that moment. He had to leave, and he had to do it alone. If he turned her, he'd be leaving Lizzie behind, alone, confused and with no self-restraint. She'd make a mess, and she'd draw hunters to her.

He couldn't do that to her, ever. He would never put her in that kind of danger.

That had to be it, right? There was no other possible reason for the idea of taking Elizabeth's humanity away from her making him nauseous so deep in his soul.

Once everything was done, he decided. When he had Dean by his side, when the hunter finally saw things the way he did, when Benny wasn't forced to keep lying to him. Then, he'd come back for Elizabeth.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Benny wrapped his arms around Elizabeth into a tight hug, pulling her as close to him as he could. He held the back of her head, kissed her temple lovingly, and after a while only very reluctantly did he let her go.

The smile she gave him was warm, if a bit upset that they had to part. He knew his smile was far less composed, showing a mix of affection and, already, longing. But they'd meet again soon, he reminded himself.

“I'm glad you decided to come, Benny. It's been great having you here, now that I know who you are.”

“I'm glad too, and I'm happy you've accepted me. I could come see you more, if you want.”

“Of course you will. I wouldn't allow you to do anything else,” she answered, her smile turning somewhat cheeky.

Benny's grew too, showing her his teeth. He waited a moment, and then nodded at her, turning around. However, she reached out and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Wait a second, I have something to give you before you leave.”

The man watched curiously as she walked back into the house, only to walk back out a couple minutes later with something on her hands. His eyes fixed on it: It was an album, old from the looks of it, made of worn leather, the corners battered, but still obviously taken good care of. He swallowed hard as she held it towards him, suspecting what it was.

“You should have this. It means more to you than me.”

With slightly shaking hands, Benny carefully took the book and opened it. The shaking intensified when he saw a picture of his baby girl on the arms of his smiling wife. He turned the page and saw a picture of her, smiling gap-toothed at the camera, sitting on the legs of a younger, human version of himself, who was grinning at her as if she was the sun.

A few pages later he disappeared from her life. He continued looking through it: Pictures of her growing up, playing and laughing with her friends, embracing her mother, talking with her step-dad. Benny let out a strangled chuckle when he recognized himself in the background of a picture, lost in the crowd. He remembered that day; his baby had been nineteen and that had been the last time he ever saw her.

As the years went by the pictures showed her with her boyfriend, later her husband. How radiant she was at her wedding. Then the couple with their first child, both of them smiling as brightly as Benny had when he looked at her. There was a second child, and a third one. The whole family smiling after having bought the house Lizzie currently lived in. His grandkids growing up.

She already had grey in her hair when the first colored photograph appeared, but to him she was as beautiful as she had always been. He continued slowly going through the pages, until he reached the last one.

There was one big, page-sized image of his daughter, already old and covered in wrinkles, but the shine in her eyes was the one he remembered in her eyes when she was born. She was sitting on a chair, smiling at the camera as she embraced a little girl sitting on her lap, smiling too, a gap in her teeth. Benny recognized her as Elizabeth.

“She was 92 when she died,” Elizabeth said softly next to him. She was standing at his side, her cheek resting on his shoulder. “This is the last picture there is of her. She had a good and peaceful death.”

The shaking of Benny's hands was uncontrollable now, and he realized there were tears running down his cheeks. He closed the album carefully, reverently, and turned his face to her. He tried to speak, but at first his words refused to come out of his mouth.

“Thank you,” he finally said in a choked voice. Before she could reply, he pulled her into another embrace, even tighter than the one before. She rubbed his back for a while, until he composed himself and stepped away, smiling tearfully at her.

“As I said, it means more to you than to me. It belongs with you.”

Benny leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead. “I'll see you again very soon, Lizzie.”

“I'll be waiting, grandpa.”

Then, after flashing her one last smile and getting one in return, he nodded at her and went to his truck. He put the book on the passenger seat and started the engine. With one wistful look and a wave at her, he drove away as he swore to himself that he'd do anything for her. She was the best family he could have hoped for.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


He did a stop before he left town. After hopping out of the truck he walked into the nearby park and leaned against a tree, his arms crossed and his eyes closed, relaxed. It was very early in the morning, the first rays of the sun barely there on the horizon, and there was no one else there but him.

About five minutes later a man appeared, just like Benny knew he would, walking towards him. It was the guy his Lizzie had been talking to. Benny's gaze fixed on him, his brow furrowed a little and the corners of his lips tensed as he watched him get closer.

“Morning,” he saluted with a little nod once he was close enough. “Morning walk?”

“Huh, yeah,” the man answered bemused, looking at Benny with a hint of suspicion before recognition appeared on his eyes and he relaxed somewhat. “You're that guy who's been helping Lizzie lately, family of hers, aren't you?”

“Her cousin.” Benny pulled away from the tree and approached the man. “It's precisely her I want to talk about, actually. Look, I'm not gonna beat around the bush; she's too good for you, so I can't allow you two to keep getting any closer.”

A startled look crossed the man's face, but before he could say anything Benny interrupted him with a punch to the face. The man gave a few steps back, almost falling to the ground, and wet his hand in his own blood when he took it to his nose, looking at it in shock.

Benny's nostrils widened in response to the smell of hot blood, as did his pupils. He felt the itch of fangs on his gums, and they were already halfway down when he willed them back inside. It was too risky: Elizabeth would know it had been him and everything would be ruined.

The man finally reacted and tried to punch Benny, coming at him with his arm clumsily raised and a little scream. Rolling his eyes, Benny easily dodged it and, in a quick movement, immobilized him and took him to the tree. With cold calm, the vampire grabbed his hair and smashed his face against the tree's rough bark. He repeated the motion about ten times, then let go and the man dropped to the ground, whining and his face covered in blood.

Benny grabbed him by his shirt and forced him back on his feet, then slammed him violently into the tree.

“Look, not enjoying this, really, I don't think you're a bad guy. But see, the thing is that she is so much more than you, and eventually she's gonna leave you behind. If she grows fond of you it's gonna hurt her, and I can't have that.” Benny raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly. “Hope you understand.”

Then, Benny's hand went to the man's throat and started applying pressure. The man weakly tried to push him away, placing his hands on the vampire's arm, but he wasn't able to move an inch.

Benny watched coldly as his efforts became weaker and weaker. However, the longer he kept the pressure, the more he started questioning if it was really necessary to kill him. It would be the easiest thing, that was for sure, but still, something in him didn't want to do it, was moved by his pathetic attempts to cling to life.

Finally, with a frustrated grunt, Benny let go and the young man - he was little more than a boy, really - fell again, desperately taking air into his lungs. Benny watched him with a face of contempt. He gave the body on the ground a little kick and leaned over him.

“Listen to me,” he whispered menacingly. “You ever as much as look her way again, you're a dead man, got it? And don't you even think about telling her any of this. Trust me, I'll know and I'll do far worse than this little harmless game.”

The man hurried to nod, terrified. Benny flashed him a pleased grin and stood straight again. After kicking him one more time, mostly to hear the sound it earned him, he calmly walked back to his truck and started driving, this time leaving for good. He didn't think about the man again.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Benny drove for almost a full day. It took one and a half to get back to the bunker. But that was not where he was headed, not yet; he had somewhere else to go first.

He eventually reached a house lost in the middle of a forest. He whistled in admiration looking at it as he got out of the truck; it wasn't as much a house as it was a manor, with three high floors of white walls, occupying an obscenely large area, and surrounded with an even larger garden full of old trees. The thing had to be at least two centuries old.

The place was surrounded by a high, somewhat menacing stone fence. In front of the gates there was a single man, looking at Benny with a mix of interest and amusement. He wore a pristine black suit, had his hands crossed in front of him and his chin was raised a little in a gesture of pride and authority.

“Benjamin, you made it here.” The man's voice was calm, but not in a relaxed way; it was the calmness of people who were so confident on themselves they saw no point on feeling any sort of nervousness. “It's good to meet you, son.”

Benny wasn't intimidated at all when he took the hand he offered him and shook it, grinning calmly at him.

“I can say the same. We got quite a lot to talk about, Alpha.”

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Dean's phone rang three times before he reached it and answered as he looked through the fridge.

“Hello?”

“Dean, hey.”

A little smile spread through Dean's lips as his free hand took a beer and he closed the door of the fridge with his elbow.

“Elizabeth, nice to hear from you. Is everything alright?”

“It's good to hear from you too. Yeah, it's mostly alright, there's been some trouble but nothing you need to worry about. I just wanted to know if Benny's gotten there safely, I forgot to ask his number when he was here.”

Dean stopped mid-motion, the bottle halfway to his mouth. He set it on the table as a slight confused frown appeared on his face.

“If he's gotten here? He said he intended to spend at least a week with you, as far as I know he's still in Louisiana. Unless you kicked him out or something.”

“That's strange,” Elizabeth said, and from his side of the line Dean could almost see her bewildered expression matching her tone. “He told me he could only stay for a couple days. Maybe he changed his mind, but anyway, he left three days ago, that's more than enough time to get there, isn't it?”

“It's strange indeed,” Dean agreed. “Perhaps he's had some trouble with that disaster waiting to happen he calls a truck. You don't need to worry about him though; he's rather hard-wearing and resourceful. I guess it won't be more than a couple more days 'till I hear of him, I'll call you when I do.”

“OK, that'll help me feel calmer. Thank you, Dean.”

“Nothing to be thanked for here. I'll speak to you soon.”

The hunter ended the call and frowned at his phone for a couple moments before dialing Benny's number and calling. He got six rings before the voicemail showed up and he hung up with a little snort.

“Come on, man, you better not be getting yourself into any trouble,” he muttered to himself.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Benny arched his back, stretching his arms a little, before falling into the back of the chair again. Next to him, the Alpha lightly swirled his glass, half-full of blood. The younger vampire snorted a little at that, but refrained from making any comment.

“Is that all, then?”

The other nodded, and took a sip of his glass, closing his eyes to fully enjoy the taste.

“Almost all of it. There are a few more details I will give you now, but that is the essential of what you need to know, and the remaining is here,” he pointed at the old, worn, thick book sitting on the large table they were at. “But before we continue, there is something I wish to ask you.”

“Fair enough. You've been giving me information for two days, I guess I owe you some too.”

Setting the glass aside, the Alpha fixed his gaze on Benny, a gaze he felt in the very core of his soul, and a shiver ran through him, although he quickly composed himself. The Alpha leaned back in his seat and pressed his fingertips together.

“Why is Eve coming back?” he asked slowly, almost rolling the words on his tongue. “What does she want? She has always been happy with the way things are and she doesn't crave to leave Purgatory. The last time she came to Earth she had a reason for it, but as far as I know there is nothing now that requires her direct intervention. So tell me, my son: What exactly am I contributing to?”

Benny crossed his arms over his chest and leaned further back in the chair, his gaze lost in some point of the ceiling as he thought about the right words.

“The Apocalypse has been stopped, but the world's a complete chaos. God is gone and it doesn't look like he's gonna bother coming back. Michael and Lucifer are in the Cage, and Raphael and Gabriel are dead. Death doesn't care and the Leviathans are out of the question. Angels have been completely unable to do anything properly for a few years, and demons don't even know what order is.” His expression turned derisive and he sneered. “Not to mention, Heaven and Hell are currently being run by those two bastards, Castiel and Crowley. They'll pay for what they have done to us and our Mother once everything's ready.”

The Alpha nodded and leaned forwards towards Benny, looking intently at him.

“So Eve is the only one who is both able and willing to put order to this chaos we call world. She is going to subdue everyone else and rule.”

“That's right, man,” Benny confirmed with a nod and an easy grin spreading on his face. “It's our time now. Not humans, leviathans, demons or angels, but us.”

A pleased smile settled on the Alpha's lips, a mere twitch of the corner of his mouth, a satisfied, excited shine in his eyes. As soon as it was there it was gone, the vampire going back to his composed, superior demeanor.

“Look at you, Benjamin, speaking of such high things that you most likely don't even completely understand, when you used to be little more than a prodigal son. It is somewhat amusing, I must say.”

Benny showed him a wry smile, but didn't answer.

“But you're the one Eve has chosen,” he continued, interest flashing in his eyes. “Because you have the Winchesters' trust, if I'm not wrong. Is that what makes you so special, my son?”

“Yeah, I do. Let's be honest, everyone says they're just hunters, but if there was to be a problem in all of this it'd be them. But I'm telling you that's not gonna happen.”

“I have heard Sam Winchester isn't too fond of you,” the Alpha pointed out. “Won't that be a problem?”

“That was before,” Benny waved off. He didn't bother hiding the utter contempt in his voice. “He hated me even though he had no reason for it and ruined everything for me. Now, he's so set on making up for it to spare himself from feeling guilty that it won't be a problem. I made sure of that. Maybe he doesn't completely trust me, but he won't step in either.”

“And what about Dean?”

Immediately, Benny's expression turned to a much gentler one, his eyes softening and a wistful smile appeared on his lips. “Dean loves me. I love him, too.”

“Congratulations, child,” the Alpha replied as he adopted a sardonic expression, although deep in his eyes Benny could see something he couldn't quite decipher, something that had been there since he mentioned the older Winchester. “I assume, then, that he does trust you completely.”

“Of course he does.”

“Good, that's good,” the older vampire said, a wide grin appearing on his face. “Because the fact that you can operate without making them suspicious and have access to the bunker of the Men of Letters aren't the only reasons you were chosen, I think. Tell me, did you know that it was Dean Winchester who killed Eve?”

A dark shadow passed through Benny's eyes. For a second, his jaw tensed and his hands became tight fists.

“Yeah, I know. You can't blame him for that. He was fighting for his kind just like we are fighting for ours.”

“I don't hold too much of a grudge against him, if that is what worries you. He was once one of my children, after all, an extraordinary one, and I would like to have him back. It's something different: Since it was him who killed her, his blood is necessary to bring her back. If he trusts you as much as you say he does, then you won't have problems getting it.”

“I need Dean's blood,” Benny repeated in a neutral voice after staring at the Alpha for some moments.

“That's what I have just said, Benjamin.”

“How much blood do I need to take from him?” he inquired after another brief silence, slowly, quietly, almost uncertain. He was somewhat tense again, his fingers pressing against his arms.

“It won't kill him, that's for sure. You just need enough to make him a little dizzy.” Benny visibly relaxed at his words. “You don't need to fear for that precious Winchester of yours.”

The younger vampire's eyes hardened and he leaned forward, showing some of his teeth.

“Watch your tone, Alpha,” Benny grunted as a warning.

“Maybe it is you who should watch your tone, Benjamin.” The Alpha warned back, one eyebrow raised. “A little humility would suit you well. You are carrying Eve's will and you should feel proud of it, but I think you have forgotten you and I aren't equals; you answer to me.”

Benny snorted and rolled his eyes. “I answer to no one. Not even you.”

The Alpha's chin raised a little. He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at Benny. He straightened in his seat, one hand grasping the armrest.

“Who do you think you are? You will take your words back and you will swear obedience to me.”

Then, as soon as he was done speaking those words, Benny felt a pull deep inside his chest, on the deepest part of his being. It urged him to fall to his knees and do just what he had been commanded to, physically burned him on the inside and got worse with every second he didn't obey. He went completely still, and had to close his eyes and swallow heavily to stop himself from doing it.

When his eyes opened, he was at ease again and his lips were turned upwards in a cocky smile.

Calmly, almost mockingly, he stood and came closer to his Alpha. But instead of doing what he had been told, he leaned over him, their faces only a few inches away from each other.

“No,” he breathed out over his face, then straightened and fell back in his chair, satisfied with himself.

For the first time since Benny had gotten there, the older vampire wasn't calm. His eyes were wide open, staring at Benny in disbelief, his hands gripped the armrests tightly, and his composure was gone, leaving behind perplexity and, Benny would say, anxiousness.

“What can I say?” Benny said with a shrug. “Eve made me stronger. Stronger than even you.”

The calmness had returned to the Alpha's face, hiding everything else underneath. He pressed the palm of his right hand to his left one, his eyes not leaving Benny for a single second. He didn't even blink.

“Well, I must admit that this is... unexpected. I was not aware of this change. I apologize, Benjamin.”

“Hey, relax,” Benny said, chuckling. “I just wanted to make you aware of it; I'm not interested in overthrowing you or anything like that. I got lesser ambitions, and being honest, you do the job far better than I ever could.”

The Alpha nodded, visibly more relaxed than he was one moment before. Benny flashed an easy smile at him.

“I don't want to belittle you, but that's probably right,” he agreed with a wry smile. When he saw that Benny made no further commentary, he stood. Benny imitated him. “I think that's all then. Anything else you need my help for?”

“Nah, that's it. Everything I need is here,” he replied as he grabbed the book and put it under his arm. He spread his other arm out and snapped his fingers under the curious gaze of the other vampire.

For a moment nothing happened. But then, out of nowhere, a figure appeared a few feet away from him. The Alpha inspected it with interest on his eyes, his surprise lasting less than a second.

Benny smiled warmly at her, but there was a hint of hidden smugness and coldness in there. His eyes stopped on her hands, and more specifically, on the almost thread-thin, glowing cuffs that surrounded them. A chain came out of the cuffs and went directly to Benny's hands. It stayed for a second, its glowing intensified, and then it became invisible. Benny's grin widened.

“Billie,” he saluted amiably. “How's it going?”

She cast him a glance, full of cold anger and scorn, then eyed the Alpha too. The reaper crossed her arms and shrugged.

“What can I say? Good enough, if we ignore the fact that I've been captured and enslaved by Eve, almighty mother of all freaks, and being used by her brainwashed thug.”

“That's good, then. I'm glad,” Benny replied, his smile intact. “Listen, Billie, I need to ask you a favor.”

“You needn't ask anything; your desires are orders to me. Literally. So why don't you stop playing and go straight to the point? Have you finally found better use for me than to spy on your dear granddaughter's boyfriend?”

Benny rolled his eyes at the cutting tone she used. He stepped closer to her.

“You're gonna go to Purgatory and find Eve. Then, you're gonna tell her that everything will be done soon.”

“Got you,” she replied in a mockery of obedience. However, she kept her gaze fixed on him.

“Anything wrong?” he inquired, raising his eyebrow.

“I hope you know nothing's going to be as easy as you all seem to expect it to be. This plan of yours is gonna fail badly. And when I break free, the first thing I'm gonna do is put you back where you belong.”

“Thanks for your concern, it's heartwarming. But don't worry, we got everything planned. And even if something goes wrong, well, that's our thing to deal with. You just do what you're told.”

Billie nodded calmly, as if she wasn't actually concerned, but she remained there one more moment, the intensity of her gaze increasing.

“Hey, Benny. You _are_ aware that you're brainwashed, right? Like, if you think hard enough about it you'll realize this isn't something you want. You should give it a try, it might even suit you well.”

One second later, she was gone from the room, leaving the two men alone. Benny's brow was furrowed in an expression of concern, his eyes fixed on the spot she had been in, deep in though and momentarily forgetting everything that surrounded him. A few moments later, however, he snapped out of it and grinned at the Alpha.

“Well, I think we're done here for now.”

“Wait a second,” the Alpha said, raising his hand. “There's one last thing I will give you.”

Under Benny's curious gaze, he made a gesture towards one of the vampires who were at the door. He nodded and walked out. A few minutes later, he came back in with a medium-sized black box in his hands. He offered it to Benny, who took it curiously.

“Those are remains of my fallen brothers and sisters. The other Alphas,” his Alpha clarified, looking at the box with an indecipherable look on his eyes. “Once Eve is back, she will be able to use this to bring them back, too. They must come back.”

Benny nodded and placed the box and the book on the table. He offered his hand to the other.

“They will, don't worry. It's been a pleasure to meet you, Alpha.”

The Alpha took the offered hand in a tight grip. He looked at Benny's eyes with that intensity that seemed to never leave him, that made Benny feel like he was constantly staring at his soul.

“I can say the same, Benjamin. We will meet again soon enough, and I look forward to it.”

“Very soon indeed,” Benny agreed, his expression turning somewhat feral.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Benny frowned when he looked at his phone. He had nine missed calls from Dean. He dialed the hunter's number and put the phone against his ear as the truck started to move.

“Benny, hey. You finally decided to pick up, huh?” Dean said when he answered, after only two rings.

“Sorry, chief. Turned this thing off and didn't look at it until now. Anyway, why did you call so much? Has anything happened?”

“No, no, don't worry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Where are you?”

“In Louisiana. Where else could I be?” Benny asked, confused. “I've told you I'd be with Lizzie these days. I just got into the truck now, actually. Heading there right now.”

Dean didn't answer to that. Benny waited for him to say anything until he started to get worried.

“Dean, anything wrong?”

“No, no, nothing wrong,” Dean replied, a bit hurriedly. “I, huh, I've been on a couple tiring hunts and I kinda lost track of time. I was doing the math in my head. Hope you've had a good time with her.”

“Oh, I have,” Benny assured, smiling faintly. “I'll tell you about it when I get there. I'm on my way. I'll be there by tomorrow afternoon.”

“Good, good. See you tomorrow, then. Bye.”

Benny hung up and looked at the device, somewhat bewildered. After a second, though, he shrugged and forgot about it. He put the phone on the passenger seat, next to the album and the old book.

With an eager smile, he tightened his grip on the wheel and sped up. Soon he wouldn't need to lie to Dean and feel that pang of guilt in his gut, he thought. He would be free to tell him about everything.

He only had to wait two more days.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Dean was sitting at the table, looking at the screen of his laptop with a slight frown. He took a sip from the bottle of beer he had in his hand and quickly pressed a few keys. His frown deepened and he leaned slightly forward.

And then, Dean felt two strong arms gently surrounding him from behind. He let out a little yelp and tried to turn around, but he stopped when a soft, languid kiss was pressed against his nape, a beard softly tickling him.

“Missed you, Dean,” Benny muttered against his ear, then kissed it too. He lovingly nuzzled against Dean's temple.

“Dammit, Benny, was it necessary to be creepy about it?” Dean asked as he turned around. “You could just have said 'hi, I'm back'.”

“Felt like giving you a surprise,” Benny excused himself, smiling unapologetically as he leaned to kiss him again, this time on his lips. He nibbled playfully on his lower lip and stepped back. He looked curiously at the computer screen. “What you doing there?”

“Searching to see if there's any possible case nearby.” The hunter shrugged. “No luck though.”

Dean's eyes remained fixed on Benny, inspecting him carefully and softly biting the inside of his lip. If Benny noticed his slight nervousness, he didn't comment on it.

Benny hummed and looked around. He dropped down in the chair next to Dean and crossed his legs.

“You alone, chief? I don't smell Sam around,” he commented, his voice even, apparently not too interested. But under that nonchalant layer, there was an attentive interest for the answer, Benny's eyes fixed on Dean.

“He's not here, he went out somewhere. He'll be back in a few hours.”

Benny's eyes narrowed faintly and his lips curved into a feral, delighted smirk, all teeth. It was gone so quick, though, that Dean was sure he had made it up.

“Is that so?” the vampire drawled lowly to himself, an intense shine in his eyes.

His hand went to brush over Dean's, and the vampire leaned to kiss him again. It started soft, but soon it was an open-mouthed kiss, Benny nibbling on Dean's lips and licking inside his mouth, focused and his eyes closed. His hands ran up Dean's arms and framed his face, keeping him still as he hungrily deepened the kiss, as if he couldn't get enough of him.

A little after, however, he pulled back, a little frown on his face as he looked at Dean concerned.

“Hey, Dean, anything wrong? You're a bit tense.”

The hunter cast his eyes down for a second, momentarily unable to meet Benny's gaze. He slowly licked his lips, hesitantly, before looking up and speaking.

“Elizabeth called some days ago.”

For a second, Benny's face was frozen, his expression completely still, his hands stiff on Dean's shoulders, and this time, Dean saw it. Once the second passed, though, Benny was all natural again. His eyebrows raised, interested.

“Did she, now? And what did she say?”

Dean noticed the edge of tension on Benny's voice. Slowly, he took his hand to his shoulder, over Benny's, and gently pushed it down. The tension became far more evident and something he couldn't recognize crossed over Benny's face, shadowing it.

“She wanted to know if you were already here, because you had left a couple days before,” he explained. Benny's face remained immutable. “Strange, isn't it? Because when we talked two days later, you were just leaving her.”

Benny didn't reply: He remained looking at Dean, his eyes gradually going harder with every word Dean said.

“Benny,” Dean called softly, “where have you been?”

“It's nothing you need to worry about, brother,” Benny grunted lowly as a response.

“Well, maybe I still want to know,” Dean replied, his eyebrow raising an inch. “Come on, tell me.”

The vampire grunted again and stood suddenly. Dean imitated him, startled, and watched with growing concern as Benny's face transformed into a grimace of intense frustration mixed with anger, almost growling as he stood a few meters away with his back to Dean and his head hung low.

Dean stared at him in shock, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open. He hesitantly took a step closer to Benny.

“Benny, you're scaring me, man. What's going on? You know you can tell me.”

Benny let out a little chuckle; a mirthless, bitter sound that was so unlike the Benny Dean knew that it sent unpleasant shivers through all his body, from his nape to the tip of his toes.

“What's the matter, Dean? You don't trust me?” He turned his head towards Dean, showing him a sardonic smile over his shoulder. “You've been talking to little Sammy? Is that it, huh? You let him convince you to turn on me again?”

“Don't you dare say that,” Dean warned through gritted teeth, his hands turning into white-knuckled fists at his sides. “I've been telling Sam to shut the fuck up every time he as much as implied we should keep an eye on you. And you know why? Because I fucking trust you.” He stopped himself, swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths. Then he continued in a somewhat gentler, but still stern, voice: “I trust you, Benny. Never doubt that. But I can't help you until you tell me what the problem is.”

Benny's face went a little softer when he heard Dean's words, but he was still visibly upset. He pressed his lips into a thin line, his face annoyed as he turned to fully face Dean, crossing his arms.

“I appreciate it, Dean, but it's nothing you need to help me with. Just forget about it and don't worry. Trust me.”

“Trust's something that works both ways, man,” Dean pointed out, raising one eyebrow.

Benny let out an irritated sigh. “I see you how much trust me, brother. Why the hell do you want to know so badly, huh?”

“Because you're refusing to tell me,” Dean replied cuttingly, stepping ahead until they were only a foot away, staring into each other's eyes. “It's got to be something pretty bad for you to get like this, and Benny, you always have to tell these kind of things sooner or later. I know from experience it's better sooner, so you're going to tell me whatever it is, now. I don't care how bad it is,” he stated firmly. His voice made it clear he wouldn't accept no for an answer.

Benny held Dean's gaze, and after some moments Dean saw a change in his eyes, a decision being made. All of his anger and irritation seemed to just wash away suddenly, leaving behind only cold serenity.

“I went to see my Alpha,” he stated calmly.

Dean didn't reply immediately. At first, his face didn't change one bit, but soon his brow started furrowing into a confused frown, as if he didn't quite understand what he had just been told.

“You what?”

“I was with my Alpha. You know, the Alpha vampire, I know you've met him a couple times.”

Dean finally reacted. His eyes widened and he immediately went to Benny, grasping his shoulders tightly.

“Damn, Benny. Are you alright? Did he do anything to you? Were you hurt when you got away?” he asked quickly, not leaving time for Benny to answer as his eyes frantically searched Benny's face for any kind of harm. “What did he want from you? He didn't mess with your head, did he?”

“Dean, stop,” Benny said softly, pushing Dean's hands away. “He didn't do anything to my head, and I went to him willingly. We had things to talk about.”

“What kind of things could you possibly need to talk about with him?”

“I needed to know some things only he could tell me.” At Dean's expectancy, he continued, his voice dropping a tone, but at the same time somehow carefree. “I wanted him to tell me how to get Eve back from Purgatory.”

“What? Eve?” Dean said, his eyes widening more. “Is he trying to bring her back again? And you went to ask him for that? You want to know what he's doing so we can stop him, right? You didn't take me so he wouldn't suspect” Dean said, anxiously waiting for Benny to confirm his words, trying to make sense out of this situation.

“No, chief,” Benny shook his head, and he seemed resigned to what was to come. “I'm going to help him do it. Actually, I'm the one who'll be doing it.”

Benny's eyes filled with pain when he saw the way the confusion in Dean's eyes slowly gave way to negation and then to betrayal.

Dean took a step back, shaking his head. Benny took a step forward.

“I don't understand. Why would you want to...?”

“Dean, listen to me. It's for the best, for me and you both. You just got to trust me.”

Benny's hand reached for Dean's, but Dean roughly swatted it away as he gritted his teeth.

Benny stilled for a moment, sorrow, pain and panic flooding him as he saw Dean stepping further and further away from him, his face rough and stern. He swallowed hard. He couldn't lose Dean. He wouldn't.

He quickly reached the hunter and grabbed both his wrists in a careful but firm grip. Dean cursed and started to writhe and uselessly trying to shake him off, so Benny increased the pressure, but as soon as he saw Dean wincing in pain he released him as if Dean's skin burned him.

Dean didn't waste a second; he ran away to the next room, and when Benny rushed through the door he saw that Dean had a knife in his hands and an angry look in his eyes, mixed with something Benny hoped was an internal conflict.

“Benny, are you even listening to yourself? It's that bitch we're talking about.”

“Yeah, I'm listening to myself,” Benny replied with a rougher edge to his voice than he intended. “Maybe you should listen, too.”

Dean raised the knife, the edge towards Benny. “I don't want to have to use this.”

The vampire walked closer to him, not breaking the eye contact for a second. He was calmer, serene even, now that he saw Dean hadn't run away. He approached until the sharp, cold knife was touching the skin on his neck.

He could see the barely there shaking of Dean's body, invisible to human eyes, could feel it on the edge of the knife that was currently threatening his life. He could hear the fluttering of Dean's heart, the irregular rhythm that Benny had learned was a hint of hesitation.

“I know you won't.”

Dean tensed, pressed the knife further against Benny's skin. A thin line of blood came from a little cut, but the vampire didn't move an inch. Gritting his teeth, fisting his hands, Dean's shaking intensified more and more, his resolute facade slowly breaking. The moment he closed his eyes and faced down, Benny knew he had reached the right decision. One second later, the knife hit the floor.

Benny rushed to pull Dean towards him, surrounding him with his arms. His hands settled on his back as Benny kissed Dean's temple. He attempted to mutter some comforting words into the man's ear, get him to calm down, assure him that he was still the Benny he loved, but a moment was all Dean needed before he recovered and he tried to push Benny away.

But Benny wouldn't let go. He separated from Dean, but his hands were still immobilizing him. With little effort he carried the human through the building, despite his attempts to get away, his requests to think about what he was doing, which Benny didn't seem to be hearing at all.

Finally they arrived at the dungeon. Dean was powerless to do much more than writhe and grunt as Benny easily picked up some ropes and put them around his torso and arms, immobilizing him on a chair against the wall. His hand softly caressed Dean's cheek before stepping back.

“What, Benny, you never told me you were into this kinda stuff” Dean joked, his voice dry and cutting. “It would've been nice to know before you, you know, decided you wanted to fuck everything up.”

“I'm sorry, brother. It'll be just for a while, I promise.”

Dean snorted and looked at him with rage in his eyes.

“Are you going to hurt me, Benny?” He had been aiming for mocking and defiant, but his voice betrayed him and he hated how shaky, betrayed and afraid it sounded to his own ears.

A hurt look crossed Benny's eyes. He gritted his teeth and tightened his fists until his knuckles were white and his fingernails buried in his skin.

“I could never hurt you, Dean. You should know that.”

“You know, I'm somehow starting to doubt that.”

Benny searched Dean's face for any sign of regret, for hesitation and doubt, and when he couldn't stand to not find it anymore, he turned away and went to the door.

Before he exited, however, without looking back, he said:

“She's coming back, and it'll be better if you accept it before she does”

Dean's head hit the wall behind him as soon as he found himself alone. He felt the quick pace of his breathing, the beating of his heart inside his chest, the thin layer of sweat that covered his skin. He felt the way his soul and heart were crushed, the stinging in his eyes due to the tears that he refused to shed, the betrayal deep in the core of his soul.

He realized that even then his brain was working at full speed, trying to find a logical reason for why Benny was doing this, convince himself that he hadn't been betrayed. And he hated himself for his weakness.

He couldn't afford to lose it, not in that moment. After berating himself for allowing Benny to get to him, he checked his arms and found out Benny had done a thorough job of making sure not even he could break free. Next, he writhed in his seat until he managed to get the chair to fall onto the floor. He winced but didn't waste a second as he dragged himself as fast as he could. There were a few sharp points in a nearby metal structure. If he could get there...

And then, Benny walked back in. He seemed disappointed at what he saw before he quietly picked Dean up and put him back where he was when he left. After checking he was secured, he picked up what he had left on the floor.

Dean inspected the things Benny was handling. Some he recognized, instruments of the Men of Letters that resided in the bunker, unused, but some he had never seen, such as an old book that Benny seemed to be treating with special care.

He didn't have to wait for Benny to start inscribing symbols on the opposite wall, using one of the bunker's magical instruments and carefully looking at the book before putting each symbol on it, to know he was getting ready for a spell.

He felt the words on the tip of his tongue, a last request for Benny to stop and go back to his senses, but it died down when he remembered that Benny had dismissed him before, as if his words were not worth listening to. He guessed all he could do was hope that Sam would be back before Eve was.

“Since when, Benny?” he heard himself ask in a defeated, tired voice. His head was resting against the wall and his gaze was lost, staring at some point to his right. “Since when have you been planning all of this?”

Benny stopped his activity and faced Dean. The sigils behind him, which now formed half a circle, were emitting a faint, green glow. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, all infuriating calmness. He inspected Dean, evaluating him until he seemed to decide the hunter deserved the truth.

“We already had it planned, she and I, before I came back to Earth.”

“So you've been lying to me from the beginning, then.”

“You could see it that way, I guess,” Benny conceded sadly. He seemed about to add something more, argue that he was doing the best for them, Dean guessed, but stopped himself.

“She came specifically to me,” he continued. “I didn't want to, at first. Told her to stay away from me, but she made me see things the way they are, just like she will make you.”

“She brainwashed you, then,” Dean muttered after a moment, not sure if he was talking to the other or himself. His eyes had widened for a second and his heart had quickened its pace a bit as the pain in his chest became slightly less sharp. “Of course it's not really you who's doing all of this.”

“She didn't, chief. My thoughts are still mine.”

“Why did it have to be you?” Dean continued, dismissing Benny's words.

“There are plenty of reasons,” Benny replied, tilting his head slightly to the side. “I got your trust, access to this place, that kinda thing. But the most important thing is that I got you, Dean. I can't do this without you.”

“Me?” Dean inquired raising his eyebrow. “What do I have to do with all this?”

“Basically everything. You got her killed, so you're needed to get her back. Without you this is pretty much pointless.”

After his shock was gone, Dean's face went blank and cold. Or at least that was what a human would have thought, but Benny could see clear as water the tension on his jaw and his slightly dilated nostrils.

“So you need me for a ritual to bring the bitch back,” he said slowly, his voice hard and shaking with contained anger. “Those two months of kisses and telling me you loved me. Was that a lie, Benny?”

“I love you, Dean, never doubt that,” he hurried to say. “It's the only thing I'm sure about. It's why I'm doing all of this.”

He came closer to the hunter and tried to caress his cheek, but Dean pulled away with a sneer. Benny's hand hung there for a moment before he retracted it.

“And still, you're going to use me for this.”

“It's not going to harm you. I wouldn't be doing this if it was.”

Dean grunted and looked away. With a sigh, Benny returned to his circle. He continued with it until there was only a fourth part of it left to be done, on the upper part. He stepped back and, after checking on the book if everything was alright, nodded at his work, satisfied.

“Benny,” Dean called then. “Why do you want her back, if you don't mind me asking?”

Benny turned to him, scowling a little as if he didn't quite understand the question.

“Why do you think, Dean?” he asked, a hard edge to his voice he didn't try to hide.

“I think she has forced you to do all of this.”

Benny walked over to Dean. He leaned forwards so their faces were mere inches apart.

“Dean, I want you to understand something. Look at me. Look at my eyes. Does it look like I'm not thinking for myself to you? Because I am. For the first time since I left my nest I am. All she has done is helping me get rid of human emotions I should've left behind a lifetime ago. I've hurt people as soon as you weren't looking at me, fed from them, and that was my choice, she didn't tell me to. This is who I really am and you have to accept that. And I'm gonna bring her back, because I want to.”

Dean swallowed hard. He searched Benny's face, stared into his eyes, looking for any hint that he was lying to himself, that he was doubting, but all he found was cold and hard impassivity.

“You don't want to. Not really. Benny, you know that if she comes back a lot of people are gonna die.”

“Well, tough luck for them! Not my fucking problem!” he grunted angrily. “It's time for me to worry about myself, don't you think? I tried being selfless and look where that got me! But Eve is my mother and she cares about me. She's gonna be grateful, and she'll make sure I finally get what I deserved.”

“And what is it you deserved, Benny? Is it worth more than thousands of lives?”

“I deserved _better_ , Dean!” Benny screamed into Dean's face, his voice full of rage and anger and pain. “I deserved happiness! If no one's gonna give it to me, then I'll have to take it for myself, don't you think? And I'm awful sorry, but like it or not, my happiness is you!”

It took some moments for Dean to reply, shocked by the raw emotion in Benny's voice, flinching when he recognized some truth in his words, and also with growing desperation to reach Benny's mind.

“You're right, you deserved better, and I'm to blame for a big part of that. But Benny, you had me without needing to do any of this. I love you.”

Benny closed his eyes, remained still for a second, and stood straight. When he talked, his voice was composed again.

“There's something more, something you wouldn't be willing to give me.”

“What is it?”

“You wouldn't understand, chief. Not yet, at least.”

With that, he seemed to decide the conversation was over. He went to collect a silver bowl. He looked at it, turned it in his hands, apparently hesitating for a second, but as soon as it was there it was gone.

“Brother, now I'm gonna need to take some of your blood,” he said softly as he approached Dean again. He kneeled in front of him and caressed his face even though the man tried to pull away. “It's only gonna be a little, don't worry.”

He put a firm hand on Dean's shoulder as he half-untied him, keeping him mostly still, pointedly ignoring his furious eyes. He stretched Dean's arm and rolled his sleeve up, exposing the bare skin. He dropped his fangs.

“Dean, be still or you're gonna make me hurt you more than necessary.”

“You're the one with the fangs, man,” Dean replied bitterly, but a moment later he complied and stilled, his teeth gritted.

He cringed when Benny's fangs buried in his flesh and he felt the vampire sucking eagerly. Benny filled his mouth and spat the blood into the bowl, then repeated the action one, two, and three more times, until the bowl was full.

Benny flashed Dean a little smile and kissed the wound, lapping at it to clean the blood. He licked his lips and held Dean's head still as he brushed their lips together.

“That's it, Dean. You did so well,” he praised. Dean sneered with contempt as Benny tied him up again, making sure the ropes were firm but didn't harm him.

After that, ignoring Dean's calls, he took the blood and used it to complete the circle, and the glow of it intensified. He also used it to draw a series of symbols and runes inside and outside of it as well as on the floor. When he was done, carelessly throwing the now empty bowl aside, he started muttering something lowly, something Dean couldn't hear. He could almost feel the energy gathering in the room.

It seemed like ages as Dean watched Benny do it, powerless to do anything. When Benny came back to him, with a glowing grin, he leaned to kiss Dean one more time and rested his weight on the wall next to him.

“About half an hour, Dean,” he said, the excitement palpable in his voice, “and she'll be here.”

“What will happen then?”

“Her spirit will find a suitable vessel to use, you know, a virgin maiden and all that shit dragons did once. I would've brought one here myself, but things got a little tricky. Then, everything will go as she decides.” He shrugged, as if he didn't really care. “All I know is that I will be powerful and I will have both you and Lizzie at my side. That's enough for me.”

And then, there was a sound on the upper floor. A door being opened. They both were startled for a moment, looking at the ceiling. Dean's face changed to a mix of fear, worry and hope, while a wide, cruel smirk appeared on Benny's.

“Little Sammy is here.”

“Don't you dare do anything to him,” Dean grunted, his efforts to break free returning. “I'm warning you!”

“I'll see what I can do,” the other replied carelessly, already at the doorframe. He winked back at Dean and left him alone.

Benny's grin grew more and more, almost madly, as he rushed to the first floor. For the first time, he was going to have Sam in front of him and next to no restrictions. He was going to enjoy it a lot.

He found the younger Winchester in the living room, walking in at the same time he did. It looked like he hadn't clued in yet that there was something wrong.

“Hey, Sam,” Benny greeted cheerfully.

Before Sam had time to reply, however, Benny had rushed to him and punched his jaw, barely measuring the strength he used, hard enough to make the weak human fall onto the floor with a loud thud.

Benny's eyes shone with glee as a shocked Sam took a hand to his mouth and watched his fingers, wet with blood. He barely had time to turn his head to Benny before the vampire had kicked him in the stomach, making him curl in on himself. Benny gave him a couple seconds before he kicked him again and roughly grabbed him and slammed him into a wall.

“Benny? Wha-”

“Short version: I've been kinda playing you both. Eve is gonna be here in a while and I can do whatever the fuck I want, and I happen to hate you. I know you're a smart kid, you'll figure the details out.”

Benny could practically see Sam's panic-affected brain working behind his eyes. Rolling his eyes, he punched him, breaking his nose, and immediately kneed him in the stomach before throwing him to the floor again, and sat on the table, looking down at him with a satisfied look on his face.

All Sam was able to do for a couple minutes was to groan loudly; music to Benny's ears, whose relaxed smile didn't seem to be disappearing soon. Eventually, Sam recovered enough to look at the other and speak to him.

“Where is Dean?”

“He's in the dungeon, tied up to a chair. But don't worry about him, I'm not going to allow anything bad to happen to him. It is you you should be worried about, Sammy,” he answered, saying the last word with disdain and contempt.

“Are you going to kill me, then?”

“Nope, but not because I don't want to, believe me. It's only because Dean loves you, and it'd hurt him like hell if you were dead. He'd be angry at me.” He showed Sam a hard, wide, toothy grin. “However, soon I'll turn him into a vampire and he'll see things my way. I hope that then he'll agree that the best we can do is to kill you.”

“You're going to turn him into a vampire?” Sam inquired immediately, his eyes wide with alarm.

Benny raised an eyebrow and the corner of his lips twitched upwards. “Yeah, I am. Is that what you're concerned about from all that?”

Sam ignored him and shook his head. He was confused and his brain worked at full speed, trying to make sense out of this situation, desperately looking for a way out. He quickly dismissed the possibility of beating him in a fight, as Benny was clearly stronger than him and didn't care how much he hurt him, so he had to think of something else, convince him to stop.

“You mentioned Eve before. Is that why you're doing this? Is she making you?”

Benny frowned, perplexed, and went closer to Sam. He lazily kicked the human in the ribs and made him roll over, pushing him roughly with his foot.

“What is it with you Winchesters and not being able to understand what's right in front of you?” he mused to himself.

“It's because you're not like that. You would've never thought about tying Dean up, or turning him. There's got to be something forcing you.”

“You don't know shit about me,” Benny grunted darkly. He put his foot on Sam's chest and leaned his weight there, smirking cruelly when the man gasped in pain.

“You're right, I don't. But Dean does, and he's told me about you thousands of times. I don't think the man he talked about would want to do this.”

Benny frowned, thinking about it for a second before shrugging.

“Maybe he didn't know me as well as he thought he did. This is me.”

“I don't believe that. If that was true, then why haven't you turned Dean yet? Because you don't truly want whatever you're doing.”

Benny's frown deepened. He had to think about it, his gaze briefly lost, hesitating for a second before he became resolute again, although there was a barely-there hint of doubt in his voice, as if he was trying to convince himself more than anything else.

“I haven't because his will is too strong,” he replied cuttingly, putting more weight on Sam. “He was a vampire once - because you were using him as a tool, like you always are - and he managed to fight his bloodlust and nature; turning him would only give him strength to fight with, not change his mind. I'll wait until Eve arrives and she can make him see reason.”

Sam swallowed hard and looked up at Benny's face. It was hard, but he thought he could see something there, other than the disgust and hate for him. Beneath all of that, there was doubt, second thoughts: Benny was thinking, wondering if he believed his own words. Sam had to use that.

“So you're planning to force Dean to be different. You're going to make him change.”

“He won't change!” Benny replied angrily. “He just- He'll be free of morals! He'll see things how they are.”

“You don't believe that, and you know it. If you take that away from Dean, you'll take a part of who he is. Benny, don't you realize he won't be with you by his own choice? Like a slave who can't disobey his master. Is that really how you want to have Dean?”

“I can kill you right here,” Benny warned lowly, showing Sam his teeth. However, the pressure on Sam's chest diminished.

“Benny, you love Dean,” Sam continued, undaunted. “You love him for who he is, and you don't want him to be any different. He loves you, too. And if what you're doing goes ahead, you're going to lose all of that.”

“Shut the fuck up! Who do you think you are? You think you can convince me of something Dean couldn't?” Benny screamed at him, angry and hateful. Then, his foot was off Sam and he started frantically pacing the room. “Don't you dare try anything,” Benny warned with a growl before starting muttering lowly to himself, running his hands over his face and cursing loudly, completely ignoring Sam, who watched him attentively as he got to his feet.

And then, finally, Benny stood still. He stared at the wall in front of him, his eyes hard, his lips in a thin line and his teeth gritted, his hands turned into fists. He remained like that for a few moments, then turned his rage-filled eyes to Sam.

He stared at him and suddenly Benny was advancing towards Sam like a killer towards his victim. Sam tried to turn away and run, but before he could even move Benny had hit him on the head and everything went black.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


It was maybe forty minutes later when Sam walked into the room. Dean, who had given up trying to get himself free and had been anxiously waiting for anything to happen, quickly looked up at him, eyes wide as he inspected him. He had a few bruises and there was blood drying on his temple and nose, but other than that he seemed mostly OK.

“Dean!” he called as soon as he saw him. He ran towards his brother and after quickly inspecting him, started working on the ropes. “Are you alright?”

“Better than you, don't worry. Sam, what the hell has happened?”

“I was gonna ask you the same thing, actually. Benny knocked me down and I just woke up.”

He finished untying Dean and the other stood and moved his sore and numb body, feeling blood start to flow through his limbs again. He turned his wrists until he couldn't ignore Sam's questioning eyes anymore. He sighed.

“I don't know, Sammy. He just came in suddenly and did this,” he said, pointing at the wall where the circle was still drawn. However, the blood parts were messy, as if someone had swiped their hand across them in an attempt to get them off, and almost all the runes were crossed out, probably with the knife that lied on the floor next to it. “He didn't say anything, but I guess that's stopped the ritual. Then he went away again. He barely even looked at me.”

His voice lost strength as he spoke, and by the end he was talking more to himself than to his brother. His head hung low, an unreadable look on his face, and his whole body was tense.

“I think I managed to snap him out of it,” Sam said quietly. “I got him to think about what he was doing, and what it would do to you. I guess that once he actually thought about it he realized that wasn't what he wanted, and from there he started thinking about everything else.”

“He didn't listen to me when I tried.”

“I think that is probably because he needed some emotional distance. It looked like whatever had happened to him, it was about his emotions. He loves you and it seemed like you were the reason he was doing all of that, so I guess his mind was clouded when you tried and the message didn't get across. But he doesn't care about me, so when I spoke to him his mind was clearer and he got it.”

Dean nodded, but other than that showed no sign of having heard his brother.

Sam looked at him with concern. After hesitating for a moment, he put his hand on Dean's shoulder supportively and squeezed.

“Dean, are you alright?”

Dean nodded weakly and pushed Sam's hand away gently. He flashed his brother a smile he knew was visibly pained and forced.

“Of course I'm alright, Sam. Why wouldn't I be?”

“Dean, you and Benny-”

“I said I'm good, Sam,” Dean interrupted cuttingly, in a harsher voice than he had intended. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “I just need, huh, some more time alone. I'll be in my room if you need me.”

Sam seemed about to complain, but changed his mind just before he spoke the first word and nodded. “I'll be cleaning that,” he said, pointing to the wall. “Better not to take any risks.”

Dean patted his brother's shoulder and tried to give him a reassuring smile before he left the room and tiredly walked to his bedroom.

When he got there, he rested his back on the closed door behind him and closed his eyes, taking a series of deep breaths as he tried to calm down his racing mind. He ran a hand through his hair, chewed on his lower lip.

He paced through the room a few times, and then seemed to make a decision. He fished his phone from his pocket and stared at the screen, as if for a moment he had forgotten what it was and how it was used.

And then, with slightly shaking fingers, he called Benny.

The phone rang a few times. Dean sighed; he was almost sure Benny wasn't going to pick up, but just before he decided to hang up the vampire answered. There was silence for a moment; he said nothing and neither did Benny, the only sound that of his breathing.

“Dean,” the vampire eventually said on the other side, slowly, quietly. Dean could tell he was trying to sound neutral, but it was easy to notice the wariness in his voice, how tired he was.

“Benny,” he said back. He didn't know what else to say. Was he happy to hear Benny's voice, relieved? He couldn't really tell, not right now. He swallowed hard and continued. “So, you ran away.”

“What do you want, Dean?” Benny cut with a gruff muttering through gritted teeth. He sounded like a wounded animal, exuding bitterness and frustration.

Dean attempted to speak, but he was unable to make any sound come out of his mouth. He swallowed again and breathed in deeply, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat.

“Benny, I was thinking. Remember that coffee you asked me for?”

On the other side of the line, the vampire let out a mirthless chuckle. “Yeah, I remember. Never got around to doing it, did we?”

“Well, I think it's about time we do. What about you?”

There was a long, tense silence on Benny's part. Dean almost thought Benny was going to hang up, but just before he spoke again the vampire answered.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” he replied in a mutter that sounded defeated and resigned. “I haven't had time to run too far away, I'm less than an hour from there. Tell me a place and I'll be there.”

Dean let out a small sigh, relieved Benny had accepted. They agreed to meet in a place, a nice, little bar in town one hour later.

“See you in an hour, then,” Benny said. Without giving Dean a chance to reply, he ended the call.

Dean looked at the phone for nearly a minute, closing his slightly shaking hand tightly around it. He let out a curse and put it away.

He kicked the wall a couple times, hit it again and again and again long after his knuckles started to bleed, full of strips of ripped skin. He turned around and threw the mattress onto the floor, and did the same with some stuff on the table.

He stopped for a second to look at the blade he had used when he was in Purgatory. When he was with Benny. With a frustrated scream, he took it and threw it violently into the floor too. Then he went still and, after looking at it for a few moments, sighed and put it back on the wall, checking it to see if it had been damaged.

He pressed his forehead against the cold wall, let his breath even out, turned around and slid down along the wall until he was sitting on the floor. With a tired sigh, and a hint of tears beginning to form in his eyes, he covered his face with one hand.

One hour. Just one more hour alone with his own head. One more hour of thoughts that he couldn't send away, of fear and confusion and hurt and rage. One more hour until he could talk to Benny and, hopefully, free himself from that oppressive feeling in his chest.

One hour that he knew would be far too long.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Ten minutes before the time they had set Dean was walking into the place. Sam had offered to go with him, but Dean had refused outright. This, whatever the outcome was, would be between him and Benny, and absolutely no one else.

The place wasn't too big, had good light and felt comfortable. There were only a few people, the bar quiet and relaxed. Dean headed for a table in a corner at the end of the place, moderately private as long as they didn't raise their voices. He sat and fixed his gaze on the door, anxiously waiting as he bit the inside of his lip.

A couple minutes later he saw Benny coming into the bar. He was wearing his black coat, his hat and sunglasses, and he looked uncomfortable, cautiously looking around. Dean took a second for himself to try to calm down his racing heart a little, and then he raised his hand, catching Benny's attention.

After a moment's hesitation, the vampire approached him slowly. When he reached him, he hesitated for another second before silently pulling a chair out and sitting down. He took his sunglasses off and put them away in a pocket, which seemed to take him far too long. As if he was avoiding Dean's eyes.

Finally, after closing his eyes and a moment of silence, as if steeling himself, Benny looked up at Dean. The vampire's gaze was as nervous as his body language indicated, Dean noticed, and there was also a hint of fear, and behind that, a deep, intense sadness.

“Well, hello, Dean,” he greeted after almost a minute of them staring at one another. He said it in a quiet, insecure tone, so uncharacteristic of him it almost hurt. His attempt to sound relaxed and casual might have fooled anyone else. But not Dean.

Dean's mouth was dry. He swallowed hard and passed his tongue over his teeth. He cast his eyes down.

“Hello, Benny,” he said awkwardly. His fingers played with each other absently. “I, huh, I guess you're better now.”

“Yeah, I am,” Benny confirmed with a little nod. “My brain's much clearer now.”

“It's good to hear that,” Dean replied sincerely as he looked up again and some of the pressure in his chest disappeared, a part of it replaced with relief. Regardless of what had happened, Benny was someone he cared deeply about, someone he loved, and nothing would ever change that.

Knowing Benny was alright, he found himself flashing a brief, small, but genuine smile at the vampire, a smile Benny returned with a bitter and equally brief one.

In that moment the silence that once again had settled was interrupted by the waiter. They made their orders – a coffee with milk along with a slice of pie, for Dean, and a black coffee for Benny – and then they were alone again.

“I suppose you're going to need something to prove that I'm really out of her influence now.”

“No,” Dean replied with a little shake of his head, and looked at the table again, unable to keep his eyes on Benny for too long. “If you were still working for her, then what you did back there would make no sense. You almost had it, there was no need for anything else to bring her here, no need to lie to us any longer. So if you say you're good, then I believe you.”

Benny's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, looking at Dean with his mouth slightly open before looking down, then aside with an annoyed and resigned, but accepting and fond smile.

“You know, chief, just because we're close that doesn't mean you should believe me so easy. You wouldn't have believed anyone else with bullshit like that.”

“Well, yeah, that's true, but it happens that you're not anyone else, you're Benny. And I believe you.”

“Even after something like that?” Benny inquired raising one quizzical eyebrow and crossing his arms.

“The fact that you're telling me I shouldn't trust you tells me that, yes, I can and I do. At least about that,” he added as an afterthought.

Their orders arrived. Dean thanked the waiter and took a sip of the cup, taking the chance to put some order to his ideas. What he had said was true; he believed Benny's words about being himself again. But what about everything else? He had done a lot of things, had hurt him and his brother. Was he ready to forgive all of that, to continue as if nothing had happened?

He wasn't sure about it. What Benny had done had hurt him. But at the same time, the thought of turning his back on Benny, when he knew he hated himself for what he had been forced to do, hurt a lot more.

Thinking about it, the choice wasn't hard at all. With that thought, some more pressure disappeared.

Benny's eyes had fixed on Dean's arm now, where the shape of a bandage was easily noticeable under his sleeve, and his face was shadowed by a self-hatred stronger even than before. Dean shifted awkwardly, trying to cover his arm.

Benny looked away quickly, after stopping himself from commenting on it. He sipped his coffee, lost in his own thoughts, and it seemed like the bitterness, anger and guilt had returned to him, the atmosphere heavy and tense again.

“How's Sam?” Benny muttered quietly after a while and set his cup down, his gaze fixed at some spot behind Dean's back. Indeed, his voice had gone back to that controlled, seemingly unconcerned tone, but Dean could hear the self-hatred beneath that, the way his hand closed into a tight shaking fist. His eyes briefly returned to Dean's arm, and it was clear it wasn't just Sam's state he was concerned about.

“He's been worse,” Dean replied a little cuttingly. He saw Benny flinch subtly and forced his voice to be softer. “He's only a little bruised, that's all, nothing that won't heal. He'll be fine in a couple days. So will I.”

Benny nodded in acknowledgement, relaxing a bit. He licked his lip slowly, as if reading himself to say something, but didn't. Instead, he sipped some more of his drink as the other watched him attentively.

“I'm ready, Dean, and I'm willing,” Benny finally said.

Dean frowned. “Ready for what?”

“What could it be, chief?” Benny chuckled, that bitter, tired, mirthless sound that Dean had so quickly gotten to hate. “I'm ready for you to kill me.”

The spoon fell from Dean's fingers onto the plate. The hunter's eyes opened wide, as did his mouth. When he spoke, he did so in a shaking whisper.

“What?”

“That's what we're here for, isn't it?”

Benny was looking anywhere but Dean. The relaxed facade was at its weakest, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence. His arms were shaking, his jaw tense in an attempt to stay composed. Dean stared at him with pain in his eyes, trying to understand what Benny was saying.

“I guess you got a machete in your car,” the vampire continued, his voice more steady, cold and distant again. “There's one in my truck too, if you want. After we're done with this we can head somewhere-”

“Benny,” Dean interrupted sharply, “what the hell are you talking about?”

“About me getting what I deserve. Brother, I might have tried to be something I'm not before, but I've proven I'm nothing but a monster, and you know what happens to monsters. They get killed before they can harm anyone else.”

“Benny, that wasn't you, none of it,” the hunter stated firmly. He reached his hand over the table to touch Benny's, but Benny retracted it before he could reach him. Dean frowned and kept his hand where it was. “You can't be blamed for something you didn't have a choice in.”

“No, Dean, that's the thing. It _was_ me. Eve didn't possess me, she didn't control my mind, all she did was giving me a little push in the wrong direction. All those things I did? They were already in my head, they're on me.”

He was looking at Dean now, the self-hatred in his eyes stronger than ever, his teeth gritted in an expression of anger, as if daring Dean to tell him he was wrong.

So Dean did. He reached out for Benny's hand and grabbed it, bringing it to the middle of the table. Benny tried to take it back, but Dean held it firmly as he stared intently into the blue of Benny's eyes.

“Now you're going to listen to me, you hear me? Benny, no matter what you say, no matter what you think, that wasn't you. Alright, those things were already in your head, it's not like it's your fault, kinda comes with the whole vampire set. But you fought it for years with Andrea, fought it when I took you back. You have a conscience, it's a part of you, and that's more that can be said about many humans. You wouldn't have done any of that if Eve hadn't taken that away and you know that. Benny, you're a good man.”

Benny's eyes were fixed on Dean, returning his stare with as much intensity. He was visibly tense and he swallowed hard before he moved his eyes away, unable to keep holding his gaze.

“I guess you sort of got a point there,” he accepted with a resigned smile. “Not that it makes me any less of a monster, but I appreciate you trying.”

Dean would have argued again, but he stopped himself when he realized Benny needed a moment to think about what he had been told. His eyes were fixed on his cup, but he wasn't actually seeing it, but lost into his own head. Dean knew that was something that could torture you like nothing else could, but he also knew it was something Benny needed to do if he wanted him to believe his words.

“Thank you, brother,” the vampire finally said in a choked whisper. For the briefest of seconds, Dean thought he saw a watery shine in his eyes.

Benny took a deep breath and looked at Dean again. His eyes were indeed a bit shiny, but on his face there was a smile. It was a hesitating smile, but at least it was genuine, and that made Dean smile widely too.

“But, you know, maybe what you say is true, but that doesn't change the fact that I did those things. I still hate myself.”

“I didn't expect that to change so quickly,” Dean replied with an accepting, if upset tone. “But I know that with time you'll be able to forgive yourself.”

Benny hummed softly, a somewhat sceptic sound, and brought the cup to his lips again. He was once more lost in his thoughts. Inspecting him, Dean saw that now there was a certain easiness to his body that wasn't there before, a more peaceful look in his eyes.

“You're aware that if I was someone you didn't know you wouldn't have hesitated to cut my throat, right?”

“Probably. But luckily for you, you're not anyone else, and I happen to be quite fond of your head, so it stays where it is.”

Benny flashed a small grin at him. A comfortable silence settled between them as Dean ate his pie and Benny finished his coffee. Then the vampire spent his time looking at Dean, the corners of his mouth slightly pulled upwards in a soft smile.

When Dean noticed it, he winked and smiled back. But then, a doubt entered his mind.

“Hey, Benny. You're coming back to the bunker with me, right?”

Benny was surprised for a second and then he sagged, losing some of the good mood he had gained over the conversation.

“I'm not sure that's a good idea, chief. I probably should stay away, for some time at least. And besides, I don't think Sam's gonna be happy to see my face just yet, is he?”

“Sam doesn't blame you, man,” Dean told him, leaning forward. “He understands that your mind was fucked up when you did all of that. He told me to make sure you came back with me.”

“Of course he doesn't,” the other replied with a sarcastic smile and a snort as part of the tension came back. “I certainly did a number on him, didn't I? Played his guilt so he'd think he was biased if he started suspecting of me, and he still feels like he has to make up to me.”

“Well, that didn't work, did it?” Dean pointed out with a huff. “Sam's more stubborn than you give him credit for. If he says he wants you back, that's because he genuinely does. Even if it's just because of me.”

“Doesn't change the fact that I manipulated him. Hell, what I did to him is nothing compared to what I did with you,” Benny commented darkly.

“Benny,” Dean said with a warning tone. “We got this covered; you're not to blame for any of that. You're coming with me, and that's final.”

“How can you act like that, Dean? Like taking me back in is the most natural thing?”

The hunter sighed tiredly and ran his hand over his face and through his hair.

“Look, I'm not saying we can go back home and act as if nothing had happened, because it damn has. We can't now, but in some time we will. You just need to give me some time to accept everything that's happened and put it behind us. And while we wait, I'd like you to stay with us.”

Benny's lips were pursed into a thin line, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes full of guilt.

“I don't deserve you, Dean.”

“Well, I didn't deserve you when I turned my back on you when you were at your lowest. Didn't stop you from coming to help me as soon as I asked you for it, and you still loved me, so I'd say we're even.”

Benny smirked despite himself. “You got a point there.”

“I always got a point.” He stood up and Benny followed suit. “How about we get going?”

They each paid their part and headed outside, Benny putting his sunglasses back on as they stepped out. His truck was parked next to the Impala, and when they got to them they faced each other.

“You go first and I follow,” Dean said, pointing at the truck. “I'm not gonna risk you changing your mind and turning away at the first chance you have.”

Benny nodded with a little smile. Dean smiled back, relaxed and satisfied, and silently took the other's hands in his. For a few moments the both of them looked down at their joined hands, and then, in an impulse, Dean leaned forward and placed a kiss on Benny's lips.

It took a moment, but Benny kissed back hesitatingly. The kiss was slow and gentle, and Benny allowed himself to close his eyes and, for just a moment, forget why he didn't deserve it, why he hated himself, forget everything but that kiss and Dean.

He squeezed the hunter's hands and slowly finished the touch, catching Dean's lower lip between his before fully letting go. They didn't say a single word, just stared into each other's eyes before Benny stepped away and Dean let his hands slip. He nodded at the man he loved and got in his truck.

Dean was still smiling as he started the engine of his car and drove behind Benny. True, there was still some pain remaining in his chest, and he didn't know how long it would take for it to go away. But he did know that it would, that he loved Benny, Benny loved him, and they were going home.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


A month and a half had passed since the whole incident happened, and slowly but steadily, wounds were healing, things were becoming alright again. Or at least they were trying to make things alright.

As Dean had assured him, Sam held no hostility towards the vampire, or at least hid it very skillfully if he did. The younger Winchester held a constantly decreasing distance, he was friendly and accepting enough, and on one occasion had bothered to seek him out to awkwardly talk about feeling guilty for things you were not to blame for, and to forgive oneself.

Yeah, of course the guilt tripping hadn't worked, Benny thought bitterly. He accepted and appreciated the efforts, but at the same time they constantly reminded him of what he had done.

But most important, much more important than anything else, was that Dean himself didn't treat him like the traitor he was, and Benny was both thankful and angry for that, relief and guilt combined rushing through him at every little gesture the hunter made towards him, anger that the man had allowed him back into his life unpunished.

At first, after making sure Benny wouldn't suddenly change his mind and run away, Dean had held a certain distance too. There was no sort of hostility, but the physical contact was held to a minimum, and after that kiss in the parking lot, there was no acknowledgement that Dean knew Benny loved him, and that Dean supposedly loved him back.

The affection was still there, mostly unharmed, but the trust? That was another matter entirely.

But all of that was something he had to live with, and every day, when he opened his eyes, the self-hatred was a little less difficult to deal with, just like it had happened when he first left his murderous ways behind to be with Andrea. He knew from experience that what Dean told him was true, and he would eventually be able to live with himself.

And then, one afternoon, Dean sat on the couch beside him and held Benny's hand. He didn't say a single word about it. Benny spent a few minutes staring at their interwoven fingers, then at Dean's face. When it became clear that the hunter wasn't going to acknowledge it, Benny decided to give a gentle squeeze, continuing with his reading as he felt a smile settle on his lips.

That day, for the first time since their trust was broken, Dean asked Benny to go on a hunt with him.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


Dean and Benny layed on the former's bed, facing the ceiling. Benny's arm surrounded Dean's shoulder, absently caressing his arm, and Dean rested his head on Benny's chest.

They weren't having sex again yet, Dean's trust in Benny not yet completely recovered, and Benny still thinking he was unworthy of it even if Dean had asked him. However, that didn't stop them from enjoying each other's physical presence and comfort.

Dean had noticed that day Benny had been somewhat downcast, a certain relapse in his lately improving mood, and the vampire's muscles were tense under him. He had hesitated about bringing it up, but the whole day had passed and there were no signs of it getting better, so he shifted his head to look at him.

“Benny, what are you thinking about?”

“Nothing” the other answered evasively.

Dean raised a skeptical eyebrow, and even though Benny tried to ignore him, after a couple minutes he sighed heavily.

“What could I be thinking about, Dean? Eve. What I did. Why I did it.”

“We've already gone through this. You did it because she brainwashed you, end of the story.”

“Yeah, but all that time my body wasn't moving around on its own, chief, I had motivations. Sure, it was Eve who made them so strong, but they were still mine. I wanted to live again, to be with you, to have you love me back at any cost. I wanted to reunite with Elizabeth, to make Sam pay for having ruined everything for us.” Benny stopped for a second. Saying all of that out loud, instead of playing it again and again on his head, was freeing. “And I wanted you to go somewhere I could follow.”

Dean frowned. “What do you mean with that?”

“Well, you're human, I'm a vampire. I don't age, you do. Sooner or later, you're gonna die and there will be no coming back, you'll go to Heaven for good. Me? I'll kill myself if I'm not dead by then, go to Purgatory again, and I'll have no way to follow you. That's why I wanted to turn you into a vampire, Dean. So you'd stay with me in this life or in the next one, and I wouldn't have to let go of everything I got left.”

He said it in the calmest of voices, relaxed and calm, but Dean could hear the hint of bitterness and sadness beneath it all. Benny stopped for a second, took a deep breath and continued.

“I'm going to lose you. Lizzie too. I've already lost everything I love more than once, and I couldn't stand the idea of going through that all over again.”

“Benny,” Dean said softly, turning to better look at him. The vampire's eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and despite his words he had a peaceful look on his face. Accepting. “You can't be sure of that. If there's anything I've learned, it's that-”

“Am I wrong, Dean?” Benny interrupted. “Don't all humans go to Heaven or Hell? Do monsters go any other place than Purgatory? You know the answer to that better than I do, chief.”

Dean's gaze flicked down and a heavy feeling settled in his chest as that reality sunk in. What Benny said was true, no matter how he looked at it, and it was obviously killing Benny on the inside even if he tried to hide it.

Not knowing how else to bring him comfort, Dean reached to him and kissed him slowly. Benny's hands ran up Dean's back to his head and framed his face, returning the kiss softly. When they separated, he embraced the man and caressed his hair.

“It's OK, Dean, I have accepted it.”

“Maybe I haven't,” Dean replied in a quiet mutter against his skin.

  
  


-0-o-0-o-0-

  
  


The next morning, Dean found himself in the bunker's library. He wasn't completely sure of what he was looking for as he went through the shelves. There were books about witches and magic, deities, spirits and ghosts, and then, something caught his attention: A full section talking about monster lore. He wasn't too hopeful, but if there was any answer to his question, then it had to be there.

Grabbing as many books as he could and going to the table, Dean set apart the books Sam had been reading and opened one. He quickly turned over pages, going through chapters such as monster biology, monster genealogy, exceptions to general rules, and such. Dean closed the book and went for the next one. The hunter proceeded similarly until one chapter caught his attention: Souls of monsters. He leaned forward and read attentively.

_(…)_

_It should be noted where the word Purgatory comes from, that is, the latin verb 'purgo', which means to cleanse or purify. This fact is important when we remember that all monsters are tightly linked to humanity: Most kinds of monsters were once human, as is the case with beings like werewolves, vampires, wendigos or skinwalkers, and even the ones which are inhuman through all their lives, such as djinni or shapeshifters, are still very closely related, as is proven by the fact that they can procreate with human mates._

_All of this demonstrates that the beings we know as monsters are not completely separated from humans, but are in fact humans altered by supernatural forces (see the lore on the Mother of monsters). This, along with the purifying meaning of Purgatory's name, makes clear what its function is: It cleans off the part of monsters' souls that is not human. This is likely achieved through the fighting for survival that takes place there, and once enough time has passed and they are eventually killed, their souls are sent to the human afterlife._

_However, it is believed that for the cleaning to be fully effective the monster must not know this information, as the desire to continue existing, source of the purifying effect, would decrease if they did._

_(...)_

“What are you smiling so much about, brother?”

Dean looked up and saw Benny at the door, looking at him with a somewhat bemused expression on his face, the sadness from last night seemingly gone. He realized that he was indeed smiling widely. He closed the book before Benny could come closer to pry and set it aside to be mixed with Sam's books.

“It's nothing.”

He stood and walked towards Benny. When he reached him he crossed his arms behind his neck and leaned to give him a passionate kiss.

A confused frown appeared on Benny's brow, but he was smiling. “Seriously, what's the matter? Anything in that book?”

“I just felt like kissing you” Dean replied rolling his eyes. “Because I love you. Anything wrong with that?”

“Of course not. You're free to kiss me as much as you want.”

Dean nodded satisfied and grabbed Benny's hand to lead him out of the library. He took him to his room – theirs – and fell on the bed. He cuddled the bigger man and pressed tightly against him, placing small kisses on his face and jawline, as Benny looked at him with a mix of bemusement and amusement, but definitely not complaining.

Maybe Benny couldn't know it just yet, but they would eventually be together, and he was happy for that, no matter what happened. Maybe there was still a little way to go, but they would have plenty of time to go through it and enjoy each other, and Dean was decided to enjoy every minute as if it was the last.

 


End file.
